Help. Thanks. Wow

This is the title of Anne Lamott's newest book. It's about the three essential prayers for life. I've loved her writing, ever since I read her book Bird by Bird - about 12 years or so ago.

I bought this copy to give as a gift. I wasn't sure who I was going to give it to - but something told me to buy it. I realized once I started to read it that I knew exactly who to give it to, though. It will be unexpected, but I'm praying that it will be well received.


Of course I had to read it before I gifted it - and I wanted to keep some quotes handy that moved me...

I can't settle on a quote or two from the "Help" section of the book - I'd just write all of it and then my fingers would be tired. But needless to say it's the best part of the book for me. I need to make a God box...

"You say, Thank you for lifting this corner of the curtain so I can see the truth, maybe for just a moment, but in a way that might change my life forever." p. 49 "Thanks"

"We are hurt beyond any reasonable chance of healing. We are haunted by our own failures and mortality. And yet the world keeps on spinning, and in our grief, rage, and fear a few people keep on loving us and showing up. It's all motion and stasis, change and stagnation. Awful stuff happens and beautiful stuff happens, and it's all part of the big picture." - page 51 in the "Thanks" section

"'Thanks' is a huge mind-shift, from thinking that God wants our happy chatter and a public demonstration and is deeply interested in our opinions of the people we hate, to feeling quiet gratitude, humbly and amazingly, without shame at having been so blessed." p. 60 "Thanks"

"You breathe in gratitude and you breathe it out, too. Once you learn how to do that, then you can bear someone who is unbearable." p. 60 "Thanks"

"If we stay where we are, where we're stuck, where we're comfortable and safe, we die there. We become like mushrooms, living in the dark, with poop up to our chins. If  you want to know only what you already know, you're dying. You're saying: Leave me alone; I don't mind this little rathole. It's warm and dry. Really, it's fine." p. 86 "Wow"

"We pray to be of solace, and to find the courage to let people have their feelings. We breathe and pray to stay silent while people find their own way through. (Well, we try.) We pray to stay calm when the earth shakes and explodes. The universe is always having spasms and eruptions. It's labor. That's how things get born." p. 95 "Amen"

"I pray not to be such a whiny, self obsessed baby, and give thanks that I am not quite as bad as I used to be (talk about miracles.). Then something comes up, and I overreact and blame and sulk and it feels like I haven't made any progress at all. But it turns out I'm less of a brat than before, and I hit the reset button much sooner, shake it off and get my sense of humor back. That we and those we love have lightened up over the years is one of the most astonishing sights we will ever witness." p. 95-96 "Amen"

Loving her papa

Maris hasn't spent much time with my parents since they moved but this visit she has decided that she loves my daddy! Every morning when he wakes up and walks out of the room she shrieks and squeals and runs to him with her hands in her "I hold you!"

It melts his heart every time. She even let him put her to sleep the other day.

Sick

It hits hard every year but it seems like this year has been the worst! Maybe it's because there are 5 of us or maybe because everyone is sick at the same time but its been rough.

We made it through colds and tummy bugs but now it has hit is in the chest and there's coughing and wheezing.

Mike is almost better thankfully. I've had a fever since Wednesday last week and have a cough that sounds scary. Maris, the baby, has croup and now bronchitis. She's starting breathing treatments as soon as I get done at the dr myself. Maddie and Wyatt are now coughing too.

So if you have a spare moment pray for us!

Hinze family Christmas tree expedition

This afternoon we piled in the family minivan and drove to to local lowes to search for the perfect tree. I know it sounds cheesy but the best smelling and shaped trees are Fraser firs and sadly they don't grow in Florida. So given the choice between cutting a tree at a local farm that was not quite right or getting a Fraser we decided to go with tradition and get the same as always.

I must say that the choices were slim- lots of trees must have been put up over the weekend.

In my mind I was looking for a smaller tree- about 5.5 feet but in the end I think we ended up with a 6.5 foot one. Mike called it a Charlie Brown tree but I think it's perfect!

We had lots of choices for sure and in the end we almost went with the tiny one but the other one grabbed our interest.

Of course we watched Christmas Vacation twice before we went to get it. It would be breaking tradition to not watch it before hand. In fact we watched it before thanksgiving this year!

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Thankful Day 6

Today I am thankful for babywearing. I accomplish so many things while wearing Maris. Today I voted while wearing her on my back. I've done lactation consultations with her on my back as well! I can guarantee she will nap if I put her on my back in the kinderpack almost every time.

Thankful, Day 5

Today I am thankful for impromptu dinner parties with five friends and five babies in highchairs and two brave husbands. In all there were 7 kids - 5 being a year and under. They were all so well behaved it was amazing!

Thankful day 3 and 4

It's been a crazy weekend so I'm combining the two days together...

I'll start by writing what Maddie and Wyatt were thankful for this weekend.. I asked them and they both agreed that they were most thankful for their baby sister Maris. I'll have to remind them of their thankfulness in another year when she's 2 and terrorizing them!

This weekend I am thankful for the ladies in my knitting group. We got up insanely early Saturday morning (4:35 a.m. for me) and went to the pajama sale at Unwind. It was actually a yarn sale - but you could wear your PJs (and I did). We meet every Tuesday and knit, chat and share our lives with one another. I have enjoyed the new friendships and new knowledge about yarn, knitting and crochet.

Today I am thankful for my husband who is an amazing boat captain and fisherman. We dined on super fresh yellowfin tuna that I made into sushi tonight. It was divine. I am thankful for a man who provides not just financially for his family, but also provides food - whether it's fish or wild game.

Pow wow

Yesterday I got to be a chaperone on a field trip with maddies class. We went to the annual intertribal pow wow. I always love going to it. Last year Maris was about a week old when we went. It was amazing to consider how much she's grown in a year! I was assigned 3 students in maddies class. We watched the dances, looked at the educational booths and did a little shopping.

Maris even joined in the dancing a bit :)

Thankful, Day 2

Tonight I am thankful for satellite phones.

Mike is about 150-160 miles offshore tonight - chasing tunas. Anytime he's on a long trip with the Mixed Nuts guys he calls and checks in on their satellite phone. It's mostly for emergencies - but they know how important it is for the kids to talk to daddy and for Mike to know that everything is safe on the homefront.

Fishing is slow he said - they're fishing on the back side of the full moon -the fish are full already. I pray for their safe return - and some tuna would be nice :)

Thankful day 1

It's been one of those days - you know the kind when you could totally get whiney and I'm not talking about the kind that comes in a bottle (although that would be nice). I spent most of my day in bed - feeling nauseous from the bug that my children lovingly shared with me. I haven't eaten anything and only drank some sprite. It was early release so my rest time was cut a little short...

But despite being puny and wanting to curl up and hibernate - I am still thankful. So to start the season of thanks I'm going to write about some of my thankful things.

• Today I am thankful that my two older children are old enough to keep an eye on their baby sister while I bury my head under a pillow to try and stave off the nausea.
• I am thankful for a toddler who loves her brother and sister so much that she is enthralled with them long enough for me to rest a bit.
• I am thankful for a husband who picked up pizza on his way home from work and managed to feed the kids while the baby and I slept a bit this evening.
• I am thankful for the tuna trip that Mike is leaving on at midnight. Even though he will be gone from us and so very tired when he returns it means a little more money saved and hopefully some incredible sushi this weekend!
• I am thankful that we had two house showings in the past day and none today. I just couldn't have pulled it off.
• I am thankful that I was able to talk to two moms about breastfeeding today. One expecting and one having a hard time - both will find the help they need and get things figured out. I love sharing my passion with people. 
• I am thankful for new shoes/boots for all three kids. The selection process was daunting - who knew Maddie would grow to be so picky about what she likes? LOL but after about 10 emails back and forth with their grandmomma a consensus was reached! Maris is going to be so excited to get her little boots. She only has 1 pair of real shoes at the moment and demands them on her feet every day. Now she'll have choices!

That's enough to cover the first 6 days of Thanksgiving - but I realize that I have so very much to be thankful for that I can think of more than one thing a day. I am blessed to be able to do this.

My little one year old

She's so sweet!

Halloween yumminess

I volunteered to bring a treat for maddies class party and instead of te suggested candy I decided to make mini caramel apples. They were fun but lots of work. I found the candy eyes in the cake decorating aisle and thought they were fun.

Dear Sweet Maris on your 1st Birthday

My Dear Sweet Maris,

Tonight as you slumber next to me I am overcome with so many feelings. It was a year ago tonight that I snuggled you on my chest after nearly 37 hours of hard work. Your birth was one of the most challenging things I've ever accomplished.

You are a third baby - as I've often told people. To me this means so many things. It means that I don't freak out when your blanket touches the ground. I dust things off that hit the floor and hand them back to you.  I never considered myself a very anxious mother - I've always felt comfortable around babies and mothering. But you, my third little one - have given me a new perspective on mothering.

Perhaps it is that I am more comfortable in my mothering skills or perhaps it's that you are such a tremendously easy child - whatever the reason, I have enjoyed your first year immensely.

For the first time as a mother I watched and experienced a seamless transition as you joined our family. It could be that your siblings are so much older than you - that they were enthralled watching you grow in my belly and anticipated your arrival so much that there was never a moment of jealousy in our house. Every mother worries if the new baby will be as loved and accepted as the one before...I've felt this each time we've added to our family.

Your brother and sister love you so much - and you adore them. Your little face lights up in delight when you catch a glimpse of them. They race at times to be the first one you see in the mornings. You miss them terribly when they are away at school - and squeal with happiness when they come into sight every day after school. They are patient and kind to you - playing with you, keeping an eye on you and laughing with and at you. They are sad when you are distressed and always quick to offer you comfort when you are sad or frustrated.

You are a little bit of a daddy's girl and your father can't get enough of his littlest girl. While Maddie and Wyatt both were more attached to mommy - you smile and laugh when you see Daddy  - feigning shyness while expecting a tickle or hug. I have seen him grow so much as a father this first year of your life. You are helping him to become a fabulous daddy - even more fabulous than he already was.

You give the best kisses ever. The sound you make with each kiss is hard to describe "ammmah" and you are not satisfied until you have kissed everyone in the close vicinity at least twice.

While your brother and sister walked at least a month after they turned 1, you are fairly confident in your walking now. Your first steps were around 10 months, but it is only really in the last week that you are confident in your new mode of transportation. You can get to standing without holding onto anything and this has increased your confidence! You are a wobbly little walker - sometimes your cadence is smooth - but mostly you walk with the rhythm of a baby horse learning to stand for the first time. Crawling is still your fastest mode of movement - I'm sure running isn't far off! You were very frustrated with me today when you wanted to walk when we were out and about. We walked for a while, but there were so many people where we were. You got quite angry at me when I picked you up to head to the van.

There are so many things I love about you.

You have an incredible sense of humor. We thought Wyatt was a ham - but you, my dear, are going to give him a run for the funniest child label.

You are a ham for the camera. Your facial expression is hilarious - you squint your eyes and make a "cheesy" smile. It's so very cute. You are now sharing this smile with people who don't have cameras - it's becoming your trademark look these days.

You have a few nicknames - mostly from your daddy - but they won't all stay with you through the years so I should record them...

Squirrel.

Biscuit.

Maree (Mike's French accent of Maris, roll the R... lol)

MJ (Maris Josephine)

 You seem to do everything earlier than your siblings did. Is this because you are a genius (of course) or because you're trying so hard to keep up with them? You see them color and want to color too, for example. I think you hold a pencil and crayons better than your brother does and you were less than one when you started coloring!

Just like your older siblings - you excel in the verbal skills department. The moms of your little friends have been surprised to hear you talking - you can recall the names of your friends - Brett and Isla are two friends whose names you know and use when you are in their presence. Your sign language use is exploding lately, too. You pick up the signs after being shown them once or twice - and start using them correctly so fast!

Dog, cat, Maddie, Wyatt, Momma, Dadda, Azzie, Tango, gato (what you call the cats now ), diaper, Go!, baby, shoes, up, milk...

Those are just the ones I can think of at the moment. I'm super tired right now!

You've done some traveling in your first year - we made three trips down to South Florida to visit Mimi and Papa. You are a great traveler! I think it helps having older siblings to entertain you, though :)

You are still nursing enthusiastically and while some days I fear you will wean early, I feel fairly certain that you'll nurse at least another year, hopefully longer. You are a fabulous eater, though - Cafe Bienville's pulled pork was your first solid food and it's still one of your favorites. You never took a bottle until about 3 weeks ago. You saw one and thought it was interesting - but you would never take one when you were a little baby.

I can't wait to see what the next year of your life brings. I try not to get too nostalgic. There are people you will never meet - like my grandmother Grace, who passed away a few months before you were born - and this makes me so sad. I hope that one day you will have an opportunity to meet some of our other family members who are scattered across the country. We miss having my parents - Mimi and Papa - here close to us. It was a year of changes - mostly wonderful - but some a little sad.

So as you continue slumbering I am finishing my thoughts for the evening. I love you more than anything (but just as much as Maddie and Wyatt). You are beautiful with your bright, blue eyes and your reddish blonde hair.

I can't wait to see you grow over the next year.

Love you forever,

Mommy

Deep thoughts from Wyatt

Wyatt:

I think I know what happened to God.

Three angels, 1 was God and then 2 angels came and bowed a man down and he had a black suit on. And then I think, I don't know if he died or not (the black suit).

I think God got sent to heaven then. That's all.


Me: How did you come up with that?

Wyatt: "In my head. I thought about it in my head. I just thought about it and I wanted to tell you."

Seaside on Sunday

This has to be one our most favorite places to go as a family. The amphitheater's grassy slopes are perfect for rolling and running. Maris even got to crawl around a bit. We had giant shaved ices from frost bites and then hamburgers and corn dogs at Pickles.

House update... almost done!

 It's been almost 4 weeks since we moved out of our house so work could start on the repairs. After a considerable delay the demolition started about 10 days after we left Niceville. Last Wednesday they started on the new floors and other than some cleaning, things are almost done!

Yes, those are the pipes they removed from under our foundation. That's not a hole! That's a trench! I was shocked to see how badly damaged they were. To be safe, the entire pipe was replaced to the wall and inspection revealed no further damage thankfully.

We are super ready to be back in Niceville and back to normal life...

Mimi the Halloween Fairy

One of the things that has been rather depressing about not being in our home for the past 4 weeks is not being able to properly decorate for Fall and Halloween. Normally our porch would be decorated with pumpkins and all things harvest related.

My mom, who is the most awesome Mimi ever, came over to the Destin-house one day last week and worked her magic. The kids were thrilled! They loved the surprise!

Thank you, Mimi, for this wonderful suprise! I wish you had been here to hear the squeals!