Who needs a dog, really?

Often times my friends with dogs have commented that there don't seem to be as many crumbs on the floors and messes to pick up as they're stuck in the middle of messy toddler years.

Sometimes I look at my floor and think to myself - we really should get a dog - it would really help my floors look more clean.

But then I think about all responsibility that dogs require- way more attention than cats! And I am convinced that we will remain at this time - a cat-only family.

And really - who needs a dog, when you have a kitten that acts just like one - but is small enough to get into - say - the high chair and clean up from dinner?

"Natural" Birth

I've struggled with my perceptions about what is normal in birth and what is acceptable. Maddie has always been curious about my scar - asking what it was and I've always been very up front with her about it. 

It's where the doctor cut into my belly to help you be born - is what I've always told her. 

My daughter knows more about breast feeding than most toddlers - she's often with me when I'm assisting a new mom with positioning and questions. For that same reason - my husband is almost as knowledgeable (and actually thinks he knows as much, he is silly sometimes!).

But I'll admit that for all the knowledge I have now - education I did not have when I was pregnant with Maddie nor was it anything shared with me during my pregnancy with Wyatt - normal, natural childbirth is not something we know in this family. 

Our "natural" is birth by c-section. For whatever reason - that's just our normal at this point. If there's ever another baby (secretly hoping still) and if I can at least find a doctor who will let me try - I'll attempt a VBAC and probably take a Bradley class even though I have read the book. As much as I'd like - there will be no home births for us and no midwife care either because my history is too complicated and risky. My tendency towards pre-term labor is enough to scare any midwife away! Add in all the other issues I've faced during both pregnancies my dream of a "normal" pregnancy and birth just might not be possible - but I can still hope, right? I'm thinking I might head to The Farm and see if they'll take me!

I digress...

Back to our "normal and natural" - 

This afternoon Maddie was standing in front of the mirror - telling herself a story and goes on to say that she went to the hospital to have a baby and the doctor cut it out of her tummy. I quickly jumped in to explain to her that most babies are not "cut" out of their mommies tummies, but that their moms push them out. 

She refused to change her story.

So I am conflicted. 

Yes there is a problem in this country with too many c-sections for non-medical reasons. I've had one of those births. It was my choice - I own my decision. I have dealt with the guilt and remorse I've experienced and I'm at peace with it. I can't change it - so why stress over it?

What I haven't considered is the fact that this is how my daughter was born - it's her experience. How would she or will she feel when she hears someone criticize how she was born? Her birth is just as beautiful and special as any other baby's birth - because the birth of a baby is always a beautiful and awe-inspiring event - no matter how they enter the world. 

Her birth is hers - no one else's. It might not be the "norm" but it's her "normal." It doesn't mean that she'll go on to make a similar choice for herself and I hope that she's exposed to more choices in childbirthing options than what I was when I was expecting her. 

So my dear Madeleine - it's ok to know how you were born and there is no shame in it for you or your loving mother. Not all babies are born the way you were so that makes you extra special. You are loved and will always be loved no matter the choices you make in your life. 

If I ever forget that you have the right to remind me that I am not holding up my oath and pledge of motherhood - to love unconditionally. I love you.

Kitchen Khaos

Maddie has dragged her laundry basket full of stuffed animals into the dining area of the kitchen. I moved a few things around yesterday and the large mirror, usually on the wall - is propped up against the huge armoire that I've decided to get rid of (anyone want to buy it?). They've had the most fun making faces in front of it - having tantrums in front of it and getting to see their silly faces.

Maddie keeps trying to squish up Wyatt's face and he's saying "OW" over and over.

Now he's hitting her because she won't make room for him in the basket - his leg was stuck it turns out and she was laying on top of it.

She's wearing the much anticipated Belle dress and her sparkly red shoes (which go rather well with the red roses on it).

Wyatt just came out of the living room with the extension and furniture attachment for the vacuum cleaner - and is sweeping the floor. Maddie says she's taking a bath in the basket - and asked Wyatt to scrub her down with the long handled brush.

There's bread rising, steaks marinating and the promise of an hour or two by myself after a good meal. I can't wait for 7 o'clock to get here!

Foot update

Well my podiatrist got me in this morning and after an ultrasound he decided it was a fluid filled cyst - and drained it (ouch) and injected it with cortisone. It's my third cortisone injection since May, which makes me a bit wary, but what's a girl to do when it works and surgery is so expensive?

This is the third cyst - possibly more than that as we don't really know what is going on with the other cyst that is thankfully dormant at the moment.

Surgery seems unavoidable for now - but I'm stalling as much as possible.

More foot woes

I was just remarking to myself last night that my foot really hasn't been bothering me lately - thinking how fortunate I was.

I woke up this morning with a new mass/lump that is incredibly painful. The whole side of my foot - the outside part is HOT and burning, too. This worries me - a sudden manifestation of a lump with no injury is scary.

Even though it's super early I left a message for my podiatrist - I guess there'll be no escaping the MRI he suggested.

Motherhood - in reflection

There's a moment in every mother's life when suddenly she's struck by the awesomeness of what she has in her life - children, husband, stability, love, friends.

I find that as each day goes by I let go of the things I know are just not realistic for me and my family.

For instance - I am creative and crafty, but lack the personal organization to keep my house mostly tidy. I clean sporadically - most on emotional whims rather than routine and schedule. Often I am embarrassed by my lack of tidiness - I often use my children as a (rather good) excuse. They literally tear rooms apart as I'm cleaning and tidying - so often I just give up and let them do their thing. 

Time has taught me that it's the little moments that are most important - not if I got the dishes washed or the house vacuumed. It's stopping to dance with my toddlers in the kitchen - on an eternally gritty, sandy floor (no matter how many times I sweep!). 

I find my joy and happiness in their smiles and laughs as we do silly things - making "collections" of wild, green things from our yard and neighborhoods - all the while getting in little lessons about ecology and horticulture (who would have guessed?). 

We chase slugs and snails and dig worms out of our compost pile - getting filthy as the next person digging in the dirt - but we're learning about how things break down and return to the earth and how that in turn gives us compost that our worms find yummy and makes our plants grow strong. 

You know my kids can survive without Noggin or other TV programs - no matter how much they protest and I'm always amazed (but shouldn't be) when we've had a day without television and things are so much smoother. There are still tantrums, but fewer and less intense. (This goes for days without refined sugar, too). 

I'm still trying to convince my husband that there is life without television. That's his way to unwind and God forbid I take something like that away from him. My response is God forbid he learn how to relax another way - like taking a bike ride or getting some project done around the house. Time will work on him, I hope. I'd like to have no TV on when he's home and the kids are up. I'm still trying to convince him that Family Guy is not a good role model for our children or him - not as parents and not as Christians. 

Learning to let go is hard for me, but day by day I'm giving up obligations and commitments that I've made. I'm replacing them with nothing - just spontaneity - something I'm really good at these days!

When most people are routine and structured - I prefer the opposite. There are parts of my life that I'd like to have that order in - like my house! But when it comes to everyday life - I find that the days are too short for rigid structure and life must be lived in the moment - no matter what that moment is supposed to be or becomes in a split second. 

I'm trying to let go of materialism - my kids are getting more natural toys - homemade playthings - toys that let them use their imagination. I'm slowly phasing out a lot of the plastic toys - not just because of concern about toxins, but because I'm starting to agree that less is more and I should be the one teaching my kids their colors and numbers - not some singing piece of plastic!

I'm thrilled that at 20 months Wyatt could count to 2 and now he can count to three and jumps to five. He recognizes the color "pink" (what else would his first color be than pink - with a princess obsessed sister?) His second color recognition was blue - and he's working on green now. 

Maddie is gifted - and Wyatt will probably be considered gifted as well. I'm not bragging, but my kids are sharp - they're articulate and at times wise beyond their years.

Speaking of kids - (rambling here) - I read an article in Parenting this month that said kids who lie tend to be gifted. There's apparently research showing that gifted children are good liars. 

This just irks me - as a parent trying to teach her children morals and values - the fact that society says it's ok to lie and that smart kids lie often as children just bothers me - a lot. I think it's a sign of where our society has gone and is going - that lying is considered a virtue or symptom of giftedness. 

Lying is not ok - and anyone who thinks so has a skewed perception of reality.

But back to my wonderful mothering ramblings...

This new child of ours - the orange tabby feline variety - thinks he's my baby. Where ever I am - he wants to be and he's incredibly spoiled. One day - for fun - I stuck him in my Moby Wrap and now he's always wanting to be up close and cuddled. He was in my lap a few minutes ago - and kept trying to get up under my chin (I'm not sure what he was thinking). I finally got irritated with him and went and put on one of my moby wraps (or a homemade one actually). I popped him into it and after a few minutes of squirming, biting and clawing to get comfortable and let me know I was his mommy - he went to sleep - purring and all snuggled up in there. 

I swear he thinks he's a kangaroo!

Love Notes

Tonight as I was putting Maddie to bed I noticed a piece of paper stuck to the wall over the head of her bed.

It was from my mom and said, "I love you Maddie, love Mimi."

I remarked about it to her and she said - rather aloofly - yeah I know it's there - like it was nothing out of the ordinary.

However I think it's pretty special and a symbol of all things wonderful in the world of family and grandparenting.

What a blessing to have my parents so close by - it was something I never got to experience as a child - the extended family. I'm glad my children have this experience.

Thanks mom - that was very special :)

Maddie's Story

This afternoon Maddie wanted to write a story and asked that I write down the words for her - on a black piece of paper with a white crayon.


There was a beautiful mermaid with a crown like what I have. I had a crown and then I wished to be a Belle Mermaid tomorrow night at the royal village. Then we let the princess of America kiss her brother and then she kisses the King and then kisses her brother again and then kisses the Queen Mermaid. Then the princess enjoyed her princess ornament and went to her mermaid castle to see all her friends and play at the mermaid castle playground. Then they got a pumpkin from the pumpkin patch. The End.

Quiet Devotion

I admit that I have been negligent in my readings of the scripture. It's hard to get a few quiet moments throughout the day and there always seems to be something more pressing and important - like laundry or mopping - that needs to be done while little ones are sleeping.

This morning I woke up to get Wyatt who was standing in his crib - complaining that the kitten had once again snuck into bed with him - and also requesting his morning mama milk. I brought him back to bed and nursed him for quite a while - a good 10-15 minutes - which is rare for him these days.

Once I heard Mike's truck revving up I slipped out of bed and grabbed my "Mom's Devotional" Bible. It's dusty, but the words are still good!

I tend to go more on randomness - opening my Bible to a section and trusting that the Holy Spirit will guide me to a meaningful passage. I've never been disappointed either. 

This morning I knew I wanted to read in the new testament and was aiming for Colossians, but ended up in Ephesians. This particular Bible has daily readings and I was looking for a Tuesday and jumped at the first one I thumbed through after passing up Acts and Romans. 

The title of the passage was "Ordering Our Options" and used Ephesians 5:15-16 as the passage. It's an interesting coincidence that the devotion talks about choosing where we will serve in the church - as our church is starting its annual messages about serving God. I think the theme this year is "Dirty Jobs: Messy, but Rewarding."

"Be very careful, then, how you live- not unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil." Ephesians 5:15-16

The devotion also talked about how studying the scriptures will help us to set our priorities in life. There is great value in spending time with God - and not just in church on Sunday mornings. 

I pray that I will make God and scripture study a priority in my life. I know that when I do spend time in His word that I am more at peace in my life - making me a better mother and wife and friend. 

Going on in my Bible I wanted to write down two other passages that stood out to me this morning. Maybe they will speak to you and bless you in your life today.

"And this is my prayer, that your love may about more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ- to the glory and praise of God." 

Philippians 1:9-11

*****

"Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceful and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men. At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone. But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once and then warn him a second time. After that have nothing to do with him."

Titus 3:1-10

Best Friends

I've lost count of the years that Becca and I have been friends - her oldest is 5 and a half now - so it's been at least 6 years. We were friends before Mike and I were dating so add another year or so and it's been a long time.

I've always told her that she's my Diana - (Anne of Green Gables allusion) - she's my bosom buddy. I don't know where I'd be as a mother or without a friend like her.

She's the reason I don't give up on one day being organized - she

 is the reason I succeeded in breastfeeding my firstborn - when there was no one else to ask for help. We encourage each other in our roles as mothers and wives.

We are each other's lightning rods - and if you don't have a lightning rod - you need to find yourself one!

A year and a half ago I took some silly pictures of me and Becca with my new laptop and today when she popped in I took some updated (and much more flattering - at least the pretty one was) pictures.

Becca - I love you - you're beautiful and have a great smile - and your smooshed face is endearing even if you think it's just silly. 

Sometimes we have to take time to be silly!

Silly faces of the morning

It's been a rather perfect morning today - for a Monday at least!

We've been singing and dancing, folding clothes, washing dishes - the kids have been playing outside and are now playing well inside. Wyatt is tromping around in Maddie's princess tennis shoes. I'm wearing a crown and Maddie is calling me Queen Anne - what could be better?

As is our tradition - it was time for some more silly faces - and I must say that Wyatt is really getting into it now!






Our Silly Cat, Pumpkin- he climbed into the "pocket" of my apron yesterday - all by himself.






More Silly Pictures:

Rats

Yesterday morning I opened the back door to let Wyatt outside to play and found half a rat - the bottom half- on the door mat.

It was gross and stuck to my nice door mat.

This morning I let Wyatt outside to play again and there was a WHOLE rat on the doorstep.

It has to be from Tarmak- and for a cat with no claws that is scared of its own shadow - this is pretty impressive.

But still gross!

I'm not sure if he's leaving us "presents" in the hopes of us letting him back inside the house now that it's getting cold. Or maybe he's doing it in a type of protest (because I didn't feed him last night).

"Look lady, you don't feed me - THIS is what I have to eat and if I have to eat them, so do you - so HERE!" Tarmak thinks.

Lizards and snakes I was used to - but rats make me a little queasy.

Sunday Dinners

It's a tradition with my family to get together every Sunday night and share a meal. We all pitch in with food - alternating between who ponies up for the meat expense.

After a good meal there is fun, family time. House is on on Sunday nights - at least in the background.

Tonight was dress-up night - Wyatt tromped around in one high heel. My mom squeezed into an old formal gown and she and maddie paraded around in high heels, feather boas and fancy hats.

Wyatt is now running around with a kazoo - making all kinds of racket.

Maddie just added a crown on top of her fancy hat.

My mom just came out with this old, hideous dress that she bought me years ago - trying to get me to try it on - saying she could always stuff it in places to make it fit.

*groan*

Natalie is trying to stuff MIke's feet into her vinyl platform boots - and he has already danced around with her red feather boa. Now he has her "queen of hearts" skirt on - around his head - saying he's a flower!

"I'm a happy flower," he's singing.

My sister is talking about getting him a green leotard and tights...

And he's now got the skirt on in the traditional way - prancing around, holding it up at the sides -showing off his shorts.

I wish I had my camera. He's trying to stuff his feet into Nat's red, glitter shoes - and doing piroettes.

He just asked me if i wanted to feel up his skirt - nasty man!

Maddie has a little blue dress, a fancy hat, red boa, silver shoes and white gloves on. Mike just walked up to Natalie and flipped up the front of his skirt "flashing" her.

My mom has on the black, platform boots - teetering at the height - she just asked my dad what he thought and he said "Yeah!"

Sick!

Now Wyatt is trying his foot in the red, glitter platforms - that have at least 6 inch heels. He's given up - thankfully - because they were going to cause an injury one way or another.

I love these nights (mostly - sometimes we get on each other's nerves...)

It's what family is all about!

Thoughts for Nie Nie

I think the biggest fear I have as a mother is that something would happen to me to take me away from my children. I also worry all the time that something might happen to Mike and leave my children without a father.

Or the worst - that something would happen to both of us at the same time - leaving my kids orphans.

I've been reading this blog for a few months now - since sometime in late August or early September - My best friend Becca pointed me towards it and I am now hooked and floored. Her sister (CJane) has also been keeping up with Nie Nie's Blog - reposting favorite entries from the past several years. 

The emotions run rampant as I read what she writes - and I feel like I know this family and the children even though we've never met.

I'm at a lack for words on how to describe it all, so I'll post the description from CJane's blog:

Then, my sister Nie Nie and her husband were in a private plane crash (August 16, 2008) and are now trying to recover from very critical burns. I blog for donations on their behalf. You can donate by clicking the "donate to Nie" button down below. Now, more than ever I believe in the blogging community and hope to see the day when my sister can enjoy it again too.
This is information from the Nie Recovery Site:

About Nie

On Saturday, August 16, 2008, Stephanie Nielson was in a plane crash with her husband, Christian Nielson, and his flight instructor, Doug Kinneard, near St. Johns, Arizona. Doug Kinneard passed away soon after arriving at the Maricopa County Hospital.

Christian & Stephanie remain in critical condition at Maricopa Burn Center. Christian has sustained burns on over 30% of his body. His wife Stephanie’s body was burned over 80%. 

Since 2005, Stephanie has welcomed us into her charming abode through the NieNie Dialogues. Far from being a product of creative editing, the Nielson’s don’t just shine through the selective lens of a blog. They are ingenuous examples of family devotion, eternal romance, and Christ centered faith.

If I remember correctly - the couple has 4 kids and Cjane and her husband (and their infant son "The Chief") welcomed NieNie's children three oldest children into their home after the accident. CJane's sister Lucy took the baby.

To go from the fledgling mother of an infant to the mother of 4 (because that's really what she is right now, their mom) must have been overwhelming. But through her words I can see that with prayer and dedication from her family and community - CJane is doing a marvelous job.

There is hardly a time when I read her blog and I'm not reduced to sobbing. Mike will walk into the room and ask me what's wrong - and there are no words to describe.

This weekend there was a benefit for Nie Nie and her husband - her girls sang on stage with artist Mindy Gledhill - all proceeds benefitting their recovery. This weekend might have been the first time the children were allowed to see their parents. Dad is now discharged from the hospital and doing further rehab while staying with his parents.

Nie Nie is slowly being brought out of a drug-induced coma for the past 2 months. Her burns were more substantial than her husband's - and doctor's say that her face is healing well - but I know she will never look the same.

I cry for her children - will they recognize their mother? - her face forever changed and scarred - but she will still be beautiful and her words will still be sweet once she starts talking again.

I'm too choked up to write more right now, but wanted to show you the video that was presented at the benefit this weekend.

Please pray and continue to pray for this couple and their young family - 4 children under 7... Pray for their extended families as the sisters and brothers, fathers and mothers work so hard to keep things normal in their now hectic lives. Pray for healing and protection over every member of these families -keep the children healthy and infection at bay as mom continues to fight for her life.

And pray for your own families - for your children and loved ones. It can all change or end in an instant - tell them you love them today.

Go on- write a novel

Ever heard of NaNoWriMo?

My girlfriend Shari has done this for several years - I think she's actually won it a time or two - meaning she's completed 50,000 words that make sense (mostly) in a month.

National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30.
Valuing enthusiasm and perseverance over painstaking craft, NaNoWriMo is a novel-writing program for everyone who has thought fleetingly about writing a novel but has been scared away by the time and effort involved.
Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.
Make no mistake: You will be writing a lot of crap. And that's a good thing. By forcing yourself to write so intensely, you are giving yourself permission to make mistakes. To forgo the endless tweaking and editing and just create. To build without tearing down.
...


In 2007, we had over 100,000 participants. More than 15,000 of them crossed the 50k finish line by the midnight deadline, entering into the annals of NaNoWriMo superstardom forever. They started the month as auto mechanics, out-of-work actors, and middle school English teachers. They walked away novelists.
So, to recap:
What: Writing one 50,000-word novel from scratch in a month's time.
Who: You! We can't do this unless we have some other people trying it as well. Let's write laughably awful yet lengthy prose together.
Why: The reasons are endless! To actively participate in one of our era's most enchanting art forms! To write without having to obsess over quality. To be able to make obscure references to passages from our novels at parties. To be able to mock real novelists who dawdle on and on, taking far longer than 30 days to produce their work.
When: You can sign up anytime to add your name to the roster and browse the forums. Writing begins November 1. To be added to the official list of winners, you must reach the 50,000-word mark by November 30 at midnight. Once your novel has been verified by our web-based team of robotic word counters, the partying begins.

I'm actually contemplating doing this - not that November is going to be any less of a crazy month, but it's been forever since I've done something creative and intellectual for me - other than coming up with new and improved ways to wash cloth diapers so they get really clean. 

Anyone want to join me?

I have no plot or characters at this time - I'll be hoping for some inspiration soon - like by next saturday.

I'm hoping Mike will be gracious enough to let me slip away for one night a week to just go write in an encouraging environment.

Evening thoughts

I had hoped to have the energy to write about all the funny things that happened today - but as life with toddlers is often doing - things spiraled from fun to fury and I've just now gotten both kids in bed and I'm beat.

So I'll make you a list and you can drool over the stories I'll probably never have time to write...

• Wyatt - naked after a bath - running around the living room with a single high heel dress-up shoe.
• Maddie and Wyatt piling all the blankets they could find in the house - at the side of her bed - and sliding and rolling off the side - collapsing in giggles.
• Wyatt dumps gallons of water on the bathroom floor during bathtime
• Pumpkin - my always present bathing companion - got a little too close to the bath water tonight and fell in the tub. He was quite embarrassed and didn't seem to know what to do once he got out of the water. He just sat there dripping all over my clothes. 
• Maddie had a hard night - she's developed a yeast issue and it was painful for her tonight and we spent the greater part of the night trying to make her comfortable. 

I hate that I spend all day gathering lists in my head - of stories I want to write about the silly things that happen in our day and now sitting here I can't remember them all. I stopped writing the lists down because my house was overwhelmed with little pieces of paper with things like "wyatt, naked, high heels" and let's be honest - someone might find that a little odd - you know?

There has to be someone out there who has come up with a way to plug a usb into my brain so I can download the novels I write everyday. Aren't we in the age of technology?

I'm still waiting for it I guess. Until then I'll keep trying to remember what it was I started out to write about. 

but the best part about today? It's raining and it's cold. It is finally feeling like fall - just in time for my favorite fall activity - the annual craft bazaar at my church. I can't wait!

Laundry Lullaby

I hate doing laundry.

I get so overwhelmed with the kids constantly outgrowing their wardrobes and the drastic change of seasons that I tend to just put that stuff aside - but after doing that for several seasons I am drowning in clothes.

So far I've emptied the laundry room and sorted it out into piles. I then took the pile of kids' clothing and sorted out all the outgrown/wrong season/going-to-outgrow-next-week-and-I-might-as-well-get-it-out-now-while-I'm-motivated clothing.

Maddie and Wyatt are in the backyard - digging, playing, picking everything that is green.

Wyatt keeps climbing up on our little (tiny) toddler slide and yelling "Mommy, Look at ME!" and once he has my attention he slides down.

Maddie - in her true princess fashion - has on no less than 3 necklaces, a purse, dress-up heels, a dress I made her, a santa clause hat, blue sunglasses, my headband (wasn't that just on my head?) and some fairy wings. Oh - and a purse - has to have the purse - which is no doubt full of all kinds of jewelry and make-up.

I've eaten the last of the chocolate in the house - even the 70% cacao dark stuff that I've resorted to - but hey it's healthier, right?

Back to laundry now. I will conquer it this week before I bring any new, cold weather stuff into the house for the kids.

Smashing Pumpkins

There's nothing quite like rotten pumpkins and a sledge hammer to help alleviate stress and frustrations of every day life.

Pictures to come - but Maddie and I just finished unloading about 30 rotten pumpkins from our local Pumpkin Patch. They ranged in decay from a few bad spots to already splitting apart - all perfect to feed our compost pile!

We were rather clever and raided the seeds from the not-so-rotten ones and will have lots of roasted pumpkin seeds to munch on this week!

Family Blessings

I've spent a lot of time pondering just what it means to be a family - in the last days and for the past several years.

Is it only those who are related by blood or marriage? Should there be lines drawn between different sides of the family? Growing up I always imagined that marriage would bring the combination of families - growing my family instead of dividing it. I imagined my future in-laws to be people who would love and embrace my own family - mother, father and siblings.

Growing up - I never had "family" other than my parents and siblings. Sure - we had grandparents and aunts and uncles and a few cousins, but they were often half a world away. We saw them only when we were back in the States or in the same state for a visit. It was always a thrill to spend time with my grandparents and other family members. It was something to look forward to.

Part of me yearned to have family close - for my children to grow up playing with cousins, aunts, uncles and their grandparents.

I consider my family incredibly blessed because to a certain extent that is true for us. My own parents live just a short drive down the road and both my sister and brother still live at home. There are no cousins, but they seem to have plenty of fun with what we have.

Mike's mom, Paula, lives in Houston - and while we'd like to see her more often than once or twice a year - we're thankful that the relationship even exists because we know how far we've come from being strangers to being family.

One thing I will never understand is the division that can crop up in families. Nothing is worse than to have hatred and bitterness within a family. How much time is lost because people are unwilling to forgive and forget - to make amends, to reconcile - to move on.

Life is often too short - ending before we ever get a chance to say we're sorry or please forgive us. When that happens the person or family member is left with nothing but regret - something that will eat away at their soul - often poisoning them for the rest of their life.

What is even more sad, though - is when differences exist and divide and apologies have been made and yet there still remains division and hard feelings on all sides. The cost of indifference is high and brutal.

We are all human beings - we all make mistakes. It's the people who say they're sorry - and those who forgive them for their transgressions - that will go on to live happier lives.

But what about family? Are we not all part of a larger family - one connected through a belief in Jesus Christ - joined under His blood that He sacrificed?

So maybe "family" doesn't have to always mean blood relations or marriage bonds.

I've often said to my best friend Becca that her two boys Todd and Ryan are more like cousins than occasional playmates and she nods her head in agreement. Those boys are really the only opportunity that my kids have to play with "cousins."

I struggle with a bit of envy every time Becca goes to visit her family - there are six siblings and many cousins running around. The boys love going to family events and seeing their cousins.

I ache for my kids because they'll never get to experience something like that because it's just not possible given our own family circumstances. My brother is only 16 and my sister doesn't intend to have a family - it's not something she wants.

In the end, though - I am thankful for my many friends who have children the same age as my kids. They have accepted us into their "families" and the warmth and love of girlfriends and "cousins" replaces the emptiness left from lack of children on my family's side.

I am thankful beyond what I can ever put into words - that my parents and siblings live close by.

What a blessing to be able to call them up and see what they're doing for dinner - and packing up the kids and heading over for an impromptu, shared meal.

There's something to be said for impromptu visits - whether it's a meal together or my brother stopping by after school to raid my refrigerator - and play with the kids. I love that Wyatt just lights up the minute Jerry walks in the door - he gets so excited and looks up to him with awe and wonder.

I love that my sister, with whom I have so many differences - would stand up and fight for me no matter what the issue - and that she spoils my kids like crazy because she can - but still loves them enough not to make them rotten :)

I love that I can call my dad and ask him to come over and fix something (usually electrical or plumbing related) that's broken in the house. I also love how close my father and husband are - I love that they call each other Eddie and Mikey

I'm blessed that my mother and I have a close relationship after so many rough years in my teens and early 20s. I love that Maddie loves her Mimi as much as her Mommy (sometimes I think more!) and that they have a bond so strong nothing could break it. I love the tea parties we have all the time - teaching my daughter that there's nothing that a good cup of tea can't soothe over.

I love that we are able to get mad at each other - have horrible yelling, name calling fights sometimes - and still love each other enough to say we're sorry and forgive each other for whatever we've said and done - that after an hour, a day, but no more than a few days - we're right back together as a family - enjoying life, sharing laughs and loving each other unconditionally. We all feel that there is nothing so terrible that it would cause us to build a wall of bitterness

I'm happy that my kids can see that we have emotions, too and that there are healthy ways to deal with anger and frustration that still allow us to have relationships and love for each other. We might be dysfunctional at times, but when the day is over what really matters is the love we share and show each other no matter what.

Crisp Morning

It's not yet 8 a.m. and our house is mostly awake. In fact the kids and I are outside in the backyard - playing in the early morning chill as the sun gets higher and higher in the sky.

Pumpkin was loving the outdoors until Azzie taught him how to squeeze through the fence into the neighbor's yard and I banished him to the inside. Azzie ran off in her usual fashion (note to self, get her a collar with ID now that she's become more of an outside cat).

Wyatt is running around the yard finding sticks to beat things with and Maddie is chasing spider webs. Now she's picking up rocks in the flower bed and bringing them to me.

"Here's your favorite," she just said as she brought me a small, white stone. "Mashberry bacomba!"

Mmmmm, that's my favorite for sure.

Excitement has just grown- Maddie found a wiggle worm! I tried to get her to put him in my container of green onions, but she informed me that he lives somewhere else.

"Buggies," was Wyatt's response.

She keeps giggling and dropping the worm when it thrashes around in her hands.

I don't know what it is about fall, but it seems that all my dental issues rear their ugly heads in the months of Oct-Jan. I've known for a while that I needed to get more work done, but the thought of losing more teeth is frightening to me. We don't have the thousands of dollars to get things fixed and with the way the economy is I don't even know if we could get a loan at the moment. The pain is starting to show up every day now and that makes me nervous, because it means that the end is near and I'll have to face the facts sooner than later. On a selfish note - it would be nice to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner as I've been incapacitated orally the past 2!

Azzie is still in the neighbor's yard - chasing squirrels and making racket pouncing on things.


"Moon, Moon!" Wyatt just said to me.

I looked up and indeed saw the moon in the blue sky.

"See it?" he asked.

"Yes, I see it," I told him.

"Joking," was his response. My little comedian :)

My fingers are cold and it's getting harder to type, but Maddie just informed me that she made the worm a bed and he's in the hospital so he can feel better. Like the good nurse she is, she's checking on him frequently and building him a home out of rocks so he'll be warm.

I think it's time for some hot tea - I'm chilled to the bone!

Elsewhere

I'm blogging elsewhere tonight - in the private realm. Hoping to cheer up and get back to my normal self soon. Life just sucks sometimes.

Quiet Mornings

Quiet mornings are rare in a house with two toddlers. However, Maddie spent the night last night with her Mimi, Mike had to get up at 5 a.m. to go fishing and that left just me and Wyatt and the cats.

Sometime after Mike got out of bed Wyatt woke up and I brought him into our bed where he attached himself somewhat permanently to my breast and fell back into a deep sleep. He seems to prefer me as his pacifier compared to the regular "patsy's" he carries around with him.

At some point Pumpkin woke up and found us in the bed and proceeded to pounce and bite and paw at me until I roused myself and fed him. No wonder Azzie is getting so fat - she's eating all of his kitten food!

I climbed back into bed and decided I might as well get up - Wyatt was snoozing happily and it was nice to have a few quiet moments to myself to check emails and eat the last of the pumpkin banana chocolate chip oatmeal muffins that I made for the LLL meeting yesterday.

A little toddler-like noise was coming from my bedroom and I walked back there to see Wyatt sitting up on the bed - looking a little dazed.

I jumped on the bed, pulled the fuzzy blanket over my head and we played a cute game of peek-a-boo for a few minutes. My little man, however, grew tired of the game at some point and proceeded to crawl off the bed when I was hiding under the covers.

I peeked out and saw him gone and started the "fake" crying game - I cried and cried until he came back onto the bed - smiling and laughing - because unlike his sister who cannot stand to see mommy cry - my son thinks it's funny!

He shoved his paci in my mouth - with the look of "ok, now be quiet" on his little face.

I pretended to lay my head down and go to sleep and then I spit out the paci and started crying again - which made him laugh again as he put the paci back in.

We played this for several minutes and then decided to get up.

I stepped outside a few minutes ago and it's crisp and windy outside- a perfect fall morning.

I'm taking the kids to the Mullet Festival in a few hours - looking forward to kettle corn, pony rides and the petting zoo :)

Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed

I just finished up a 7-week Bible study at my church. We did "Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed: A Study of David" by Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore and Kay Arthur. 

It was amazing- and I'm actually thinking of doing it again because we were gone for a couple of the weeks. The videos are actual recordings of the Deeper Still events that took place around the country last year (I think it was last year).

These women are blessed with the gifts of evangelism and humor - they are a hoot to watch and I hope one day to have the opportunity to see them in person. 

This excerpt is from the first video - where Priscilla was teaching about the anointing of David. I've found it very uplifting and I need that these days.

DeeperStill - Las Vegas 2008 from Rich Kalonick on Vimeo.

David knew who he was and he knew whose he was. 1 Chronicles 14:2

The question she posed is "Who's Your Daddy?"

The Lord is the source for everything in our life; successes are not from us; also, during times of failure - remember that God is our source and don't feel down. 

Rely on God's power to help us with our calling.

Remember WHO God is!

He is the first and the last,

the beginning and the end,

keeper of Creation and Creator of all,

Architect of the universe and manager of all time.

He always was, always is and always will be

Unmoved, unchanged, undefeated and never undone.

He was bruised but brought healing

He was pierced but eased pain

He was persecuted but brought freedom,

He was dead and brings life,

He is risen to bring power; and, 

He raised to bring peace.

The world can't understand Him, 

Armies can't defeat Him,

Schools can't explain Him,

Leaders can't ignore Him, 

Herod couldn't kill Him,

Nero couldn't crush Him,

The New Age cannot replace Him, and 

Oprah can't explain Him away!

Remind yourself that:

He is the light, He is love

He is longevity, and He is the Lord.

He is goodness, and kindness, and faithfulness and 

HE IS GOD.

He is holy, righteous, and powerful and pure.

His ways are right,  - His word eternal, - His will unchanging, and 

His mind is on us!

He's our Saviour, our God, our peace, our joy, our comfort, our Lord, 

HE RULES OUR LIVES!

I've served Him because:

His bone is love, His yoke is easy

His burden is light and 

His goal for us is abundant life.

I follow Him because He is:

The wisdom of the wise,

The power of the powerful,

The ancient of the days,

The ruler of rulers,

The leader of leaders

His goal is a relationship with me:

He'll never leave you, never forsake you,

Never mislead you, never forget you,

Never overlook you, and 

Never cancel your appointment in His appointment book - NEVER!

When you fall, he'll lift you up

When you fail, He'll forgive you

When you're weak, He's strong

When you're lost, He's your way

When you're afraid, He's your courage

When you stumble, He will steady you

When you're hurt, He's gonna heal you

When you're broken, He will mend you

When you're blind, He will lead you

When you're hungry, He will feed you

When you face trials, He is with you

When I face persecution, He shields me

When I face problems, He will comfort me

When I face loss He will provide for me; and,

When we face death, he will carry us all home to meet HIM.

He is EVERYTHING for EVERYBODY, EVERYWHERE, EVERYTIME, in EVERY WAY!

He is your God and that sister, is WHO YOU belong to!!!

Recipe for Kitty Fun

catnip
kitten
old cat
laser pointer


Lots of fun! We laughed uncontrollably for quite a while... until the cats came off their highs and got sleepy and lazy again.

Banana Tomato Pie

at breakfast this morning:


"Mommy - if we take bananas and tomatoes and mash them up we can make a tomato banana pie!" Maddie said

"I don't think that sounds very good," Mommy replies.

"I think it sounds yummy," Maddie says.

Naked

My son - who refuses to wear shoes outside - just came inside from playing to tell me he'd peed in his diaper and when I took it off he also refused to put his pants back on and took his shirt off.

Then he quickly ran back outside - butt naked.

He's a nut!

Miracle Diaper Auction ends soon!

Just a reminder that the Auction of all things cloth diaper and baby related to benefit Miracle Diapers ends in just a few hours. All proceeds from the auction will go towards helping families cloth diaper their kiddos! This is a great organization and what a great way to score some great baby items for a good cause!

This old house...

...is falling apart!

In the last week we've had to replace the kitchen light, the brand new $20 light bulb in Mike's outdoor light, the front storm door lock assembly (we're over $100 easily by now and while that probably seems like not much - it's a big chunk out of a tight budget).

And now the biggie - our hot water heater is dying. Day by day I've noticed less and less hot water - and the temperature has been dropping despite my adjusting the temperature higher and higher until it's now on HOT - but it's not hot at all.

I just priced gas hot water heaters and they start in the high $400's and that's just for the heater.

Both kids need cooler weather clothes and some new shoes - they've been growing like crazy. I figure I can get away with a pair or two of jeans each and some long sleeve shirts. Maddie needs new shoes - as all her sandals and other shoes are way too small. She has a pair of Crocs, a pair of white dress shoes and a pair of sneakers. Wyatt has a pair of brown shoes and a pair of sneakers - so I guess he's really ok with shoes. He'd much rather run around barefoot - in fact I just put shoes on him to go play outside and he came back in to ask me to take them off - happily running outside barefoot once free from his sandals (I think they're too small).

I was planning to get them clothes this week when Mike got paid, but I'll have to put it off again now that we'll be spending a huge chunk on a new hot water heater.

This old house sucks. 

We're down to one working toilet - the other requires manual assistance to make it flush. My gas stove has been broken for 3 years now - the oven is broken - and the burners don't hardly light anymore. 

So what's next house? I guess the only other likely things to break are the washer and dryer. We've already replaced the a/c, furnace, refrigerator, dishwasher, floors, ceiling fans and house lights.

grrrrr. 

Tiger Forgives

We've been using a different book for our nightly devotions lately - It's called "First Virtues for Toddlers" by Dr. Mary Manz Simon. It was a present from a good friend at Wyatt's Baptism.

Maddie and I have read through the book several times, but we've started at the beginning again recently and I just love this little book - it teaches such wonderful lessons.

Tonight's is one of my favorites - Forgiveness is something near and dear to my heart.

Tiger Forgives

"God Forgives, so I can too. This is what I try to do!"

Tiger, Tiger share today, what the Bible has to say...

To forgive means move on past. Don't let angry feelings last.

If a friend steps on my toe, I will pardon her, you know.

When someone won't share a toy, I forgive that girl or boy.

Then we have a brand new start. I feel kindness in my heart.

"I forgive" are words I say almost every single day.

If a friend does not play fair, I forgive to show I care.

God forgives, so I can, too. That is what I try to do.

"I forgive" God says to you.

Are those words that you say, too?

"Forgive others, and God will forgive you." Luke 6:37

The Many Silly Faces of the Hinze Family

A little over a year ago we invested in an Apple computer - a MacBook to be exact. It is a fabulously fun thing for our family - especially the Photo Booth application. One of Maddie and Wyatt's favorite thing to do is to take ridiculously silly pictures. I've gone through all of them and pulled 105 of the silliest ones. they're in no particular order - so have fun seeing how much we've all changed over the last year (except mike- he doesn't seem to change much other than more grey hairs!)




If you've made it this far - you're dedicated - and in for a treat! Maddie and I took THESE pictures this afternoon - they are what inspired me to find all the silly face pictures and post them for you guys!