It's where the doctor cut into my belly to help you be born - is what I've always told her.
My daughter knows more about breast feeding than most toddlers - she's often with me when I'm assisting a new mom with positioning and questions. For that same reason - my husband is almost as knowledgeable (and actually thinks he knows as much, he is silly sometimes!).
But I'll admit that for all the knowledge I have now - education I did not have when I was pregnant with Maddie nor was it anything shared with me during my pregnancy with Wyatt - normal, natural childbirth is not something we know in this family.
Our "natural" is birth by c-section. For whatever reason - that's just our normal at this point. If there's ever another baby (secretly hoping still) and if I can at least find a doctor who will let me try - I'll attempt a VBAC and probably take a Bradley class even though I have read the book. As much as I'd like - there will be no home births for us and no midwife care either because my history is too complicated and risky. My tendency towards pre-term labor is enough to scare any midwife away! Add in all the other issues I've faced during both pregnancies my dream of a "normal" pregnancy and birth just might not be possible - but I can still hope, right? I'm thinking I might head to The Farm and see if they'll take me!
I digress...
Back to our "normal and natural" -
This afternoon Maddie was standing in front of the mirror - telling herself a story and goes on to say that she went to the hospital to have a baby and the doctor cut it out of her tummy. I quickly jumped in to explain to her that most babies are not "cut" out of their mommies tummies, but that their moms push them out.
She refused to change her story.
So I am conflicted.
Yes there is a problem in this country with too many c-sections for non-medical reasons. I've had one of those births. It was my choice - I own my decision. I have dealt with the guilt and remorse I've experienced and I'm at peace with it. I can't change it - so why stress over it?
What I haven't considered is the fact that this is how my daughter was born - it's her experience. How would she or will she feel when she hears someone criticize how she was born? Her birth is just as beautiful and special as any other baby's birth - because the birth of a baby is always a beautiful and awe-inspiring event - no matter how they enter the world.
Her birth is hers - no one else's. It might not be the "norm" but it's her "normal." It doesn't mean that she'll go on to make a similar choice for herself and I hope that she's exposed to more choices in childbirthing options than what I was when I was expecting her.
So my dear Madeleine - it's ok to know how you were born and there is no shame in it for you or your loving mother. Not all babies are born the way you were so that makes you extra special. You are loved and will always be loved no matter the choices you make in your life.
If I ever forget that you have the right to remind me that I am not holding up my oath and pledge of motherhood - to love unconditionally. I love you.
