In the midst of mothering

I chose the title for my blog years ago when I was a much younger mother. I wanted to capture life for my-then-small family.

I feel like I will always be in the midst of mothering - no matter what their ages and stages, mothering will never cease to be my focus even when they are grown and have children of their own.

Working with moms and babies - seeing these young (and sometimes older than me) first time moms become second and third and sometimes fourth time moms keeps me in tune with the music of motherhood. My perspective has changed - I've altered how I parent with each child.

There's a certain amount of pressure I feel as a role model for so many mommas in my community. I've had moms tell me that I'm a super mom, that I have it all together and that they want to be like me.

While those are incredibly awesome compliments, I do my best to be transparent and let them know that I. do. not. have. it. all. together.

It is so important to me that these moms know I'm not perfect. My older kids bicker and argue. They talk back and have moments of irresponsibility. My two year old throws fits that make me want to tell people she's not my kid!

My house is cluttered.

My laundry is never caught up.

My office is a big pile of papers and there are things shoved away in corners and cabinets.

Do you ever go on a cleaning spree before someone comes by your house? I still do it sometimes - usually when someone is coming over for the first time. I want to make an impression, you know.

But then I find myself wondering why I would go to such lengths when it's not a true representation of who I am?

We aren't dirty (ok, my sink was filled both sides with dishes the past 2 days). We were busy - going to the library, out to lunch, playing in the fountains, going to counseling (big believer in that!) - visiting with friends. I got it caught up tonight.

I'm a big believer that life is lived between the lines - it's the subtext that is important - not always what you see in front of you.

I started doing a new bible study called Beautiful Mess.  It's about motherhood in every moment and I really like it. I've been looking for a study like this to share with fellow Christian mommas for a long time. I'm not so great at doing Bible studies - I suck at consistency (I'm honest about that!). But I really loved this quote from day 1 of week 1:


"I've come to realize that my self-worth is never going to come from how well I do things, like keeping the house spotless or having perfectly behaved kids. Our craving for approval can be devastating to our souls, making us feel like we're not enough for today or tomorrow. And all the while, God calls us gently to come and know how truly cherished we are. Not because we're enough, Mom, but simply because we're God's beloved daughters."

So as I ponder life in the midst of mothering - I try to remember that I am enough.