Moving Away!

Preschoolers are funny people - they are like little sponges soaking up whatever they hear and see. They often incorporate things they've heard or seen into their conversations. Someone - like a teacher or mother or close friend/family member who spends a lot of time with them can easily recognize when they're talking about something that they may have picked up on elsewhere.

Last night - Madeleine went to visit with her Great Grandma Hinze - she's in town visiting for the holidays and Mike took the kids over to see her. At some point during the evening Maddie said something "odd" - per Mike's retelling of the story.

She told her Gran that she either would never be coming back over to see her - or that this was the last time she was coming over.

That's pretty harsh.

And for someone who doesn't get to spend a lot of time with her - it's probably even more harsh. Maddie has a very complex personality and she's sharper than a tack. She picks up on everything - whether it's a little snippet that someone said 3 weeks ago or an argument between mommy and daddy or even between other people or a conversation she had with her friends at preschool.

So when Mike came home and told me this - I actually wasn't surprised.

Why - you might ask?

Because she had told me the same exact thing - right before he got home. I had intended to discuss it with him before he left - because I figured it was going to come up - she's a rather determined little girl.

However he came home later than anticipated and I was scrambling to get the kids dressed and myself out the door to band practice - because I'm on to lead worship with other band members this weekend (4th week in a row...)

So before you start thinking - oh how horrible - what a terrible thing for her to say! Let me explain the "rest of the story."

With Maddie - there is always a "rest of the story." If you simply take what she says - that she will never be going over to see them again - one would automatically jump to the conclusion that either she'd overheard a conversation between her father and myself - or that she'd been told this.

Which is not true in the least.

If whoever had heard her say this had simply asked her "WHY?" - you would have eventually gotten a logical explanation.

This was MY conversation with Maddie before she left with Daddy and Wyatt yesterday:

Maddie: This is the last time I'm going over to see my gran and grandpa.

Me: Why would it be the last time?

Maddie: Because we are moving away.

Me: We are? Where are we moving to?

Maddie: To (something that I can't even pronounce) just like Samina.

(Samina is a girl in her preschool class. I happen to know that at the end of the school year they are moving back to MINNESOTA because her dad is getting out of the air force. Samina is one of Maddie's best friends in school - she adores her (and her pink cowboy boots) and obviously in Samina's house they are talking about the move in order to prepare the kids)

Me: Oh - to Minnesota?

Maddie: Yes, to Minnesota - like Samina.


You see - there is a perfectly logical explanation for something that probably sounded terrible to her grandparents. She had incorporated a conversation she'd had with a girlfriend at school - who is moving away - She wants to go with Samina because she will miss her and in her little preschool mind - it was the last time she'd go over there because she thinks she's moving away just like Samina.

And for the record - Maddie has been telling all of our friends and family that we are moving away - I've gotten a few curious looks and phone calls.

There is always an explanation - most times logical - although I will admit that she is her own person - incredibly smart and sensitive. She makes up her own explanations for things all the times - gets wild notions of her own and is gently redirected when she says something that is may be inappropriate.

You have to know Maddie's personality - and you also have to understand that after all she is only three years old. She has an enormous vocabulary - but doesn't understand the meaning of all the words she "knows."

However if you just ask her questions about what she said - she's very honest with you and will explain her reasoning. She's not trying to be hurtful and she is most certainly never coached to say things.


The things she says are truly innocent - because she is after all - just a young child.

I regret not being able to tell this story to Mike before he left - because he didn't know how to handle it when it happened. He works so much of the day that his time to just sit and talk with Maddie or even just pick up on the things she's chatting about is very limited. Through no fault of his own - other than his gender I suppose - he is also quite handicapped when it comes to paying attention to little details and often misses this kind of thing entirely - because he's just not in tune with the mind and ramblings of preschoolers like I am.

I'm sorry that she said this - to someone who she loves and who loves her. I'm sorry I wasn't there to be able to quickly diffuse the situation and hope that it doesn't blow up in our faces. That would be terrible and sad.

She's even told my mother - her Mimi, who she adores and I often think would rather live with sometimes (because she gives her candy and has tea parties all day long) that she is moving away - but we all know she is playing out conversations she's had at school and instead of reprimanding or assuming the worst we often play along and dream with her about where we'd go.

Spend some time with our family and you'd see for yourself - it's a crazy world inside our house - full of fairies and princesses - imaginary trip to wherever we want to go. We love and encourage our children - feeding their imaginations while keeping them grounded with one foot in reality.

Sparkly Tongue

After a marathon session of rearranging furniture and trying to reclaim the kids' rooms (Thanks so much Becca - I could not have accomplished so much without your help!) - I put them both to bed in their now separate rooms - and melted into the bathtub.

The house was quiet and I was very into my latest read - Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth...

Snapping out of my bathing, relaxing euphoria - I heard Maddie's door open and within seconds the bathroom door also opened (why should I lock it if they're both asleep???).

The following is an actual account of our conversation:

"Maddie, what are you doing out of bed?" I asked rather impatiently. 

"I need to look at my tongue," she replied rather excitedly.

"WHY do you need to look at your tongue?" I asked, not sure if I really wanted to hear the answer.

"Because it has sparkles on it - I want to see them," she stated rather matter-of-factly.

"Where did you get sparkles on your tongue?" I demanded.

"From my card," she replied.

My mind instantly conjured up the image of the birthday card I gave her for her third birthday. It was a Disney princess one with lots of glitter. 

"How did the glitter get on your tongue?" I wondered aloud.

"I licked it," she explained.

My daughter has a weird oral fixation. She chews on things, mouths things, sucks on thing - all of this seems odd to me - her constant need for oral gratification. We've fought the pacifier for so long now - and her answer for why she can't give it up is because she wants something soft on her tongue.

Well, my dear - glitter is not soft!

I sent her back to bed - she never did go to sleep - she was mad because I denied her the privilege of seeing her "sparkly" tongue because she had disobeyed me when I told her to stay in her bed and not get up. 

A few hours later she started to complain that her tongue hurt - and I'm sure it did - glitter isn't exactly soft on the edges.

I can only hope that she learned her lesson - and doesn't go around licking any other cards with glitter on them!