As the cooler breezes begin to grace the Gulf Coast I have gathered the courage to free myself from Facebook and focus instead on mothering and writing.
Sometime very soon my Facebook account will be deactivated and I will no longer feel the chains of obligation to respond in groups, add comments and "like" and post. I began this journey a few months ago after reading an enlightening journal by Hands Free Mama. One particular entry rocked me to my core. It's called "How to Miss a Childhood."
I started by deleting the Facebook app from my smart phone.
How convenient it was to check on Facebook by swiping my finger over the icon - and how inconvenient it was to be interrupted with a "Look, Mom!" when I was busy doing this.
My priorities were misplaced.
In addition to this problem was my realization of how mean people can be in online communities. How easy is it to be passive aggressive or downright mean when you never have to see the hurt or anger on the recipient's face? It's too easy. While I've always tried to keep my words from being harsh - when you are online you lose control of the ability to add emotion. Something you said jokingly is very easily taken as an insult or offense.
Facebook was a great place for anyone who didn't like me to treat me like crap and get away with it as well.
So I've decided that Facebook is overrated and what is more important are relationships - preferably in person. I have many who I want to keep in touch with and I hope that this blog will serve as a replacement for the pictures and posts on FB. I want to hear voices and see faces!
We will see how long I can last without Facebook - as it seems that life itself is dependent on it these days. But I think I will be pretty happy without the added distraction!
Showing posts with label facebook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label facebook. Show all posts
Monday, September 24, 2012
Monday, December 29, 2008
On Breastfeeding and Obscenity
On Breastfeeding and Obscenity
by Anne Hinze
Copyright 2007, all rights reserved
* I wrote this more than a year ago, but felt the need to resurrect it once again! (12/29/08)
It's sad that we live in such a backwards society. It's ironic to me that the human race, which from the beginning of time was raised on mother's milk - could have gone so far astray to think that feeding their infants with a bottle of artificial milk is the status quo.
The dual nature of breasts - both for nourishment of a child and sexuality with a partner - in our society it seems they can only be one or the other - but mainly the latter.
Since when is feeding a baby obscene? I seem to be in the minority because I firmly say never.
I've had people tell me that my picture of my son at my breast was disturbing to them.
So if you don't like what you see - don't look.
Then this morning I was scanning the latest posts on LACTNET (an online community for lactation professionals) and I saw a post about the video that the Maternal League of Justice had posted on YouTube - and that it had been banned.
I'm disgusted. I've personally witnessed far more disgusting videos on YouTube compared to photos of a baby at the breast. I watched the video - the one with sound - and it was beautiful and the song perfectly chosen. I'm appalled that the people in charge at YouTube would dare start such a controversy as banning a video of something that is perfectly acceptable.
I ask that to be fair they also ban any video of a parent, etc feeding their child a bottle - I could say that I find that offensive because I am a breastfeeding mother and feel that formula poses a number of particular health risks to the infant who consumes it.
So once again, I will resurrect my earlier post "On Breastfeeding and Obscenity," because it seems to be timely in the wake of the YouTube debacle. It was written a few months ago when another ignorant person (and yes I'm calling anyone who thinks a picture of a child at the breast is disgusting or obscene - IGNORANT) asked me to remove a picture of my son at the breast because she found nipples to be offensive. I took the picture down for a day or two - just to quiet things on the board (which I run...) but was convicted of the fact that I needed to put it back up. She appreciated it when I took the picture down, but took it quite personally when i put it back up...
here goes:
To anyone who feels offended by me or pictures of my children breastfeeding:
I've been in quite a mood about this whole situation, honestly. I didn't just take it down because you were offended, but more because I am very disheartened and tired of the whole mess.
What you permit, you promote.
You asked me to remove a picture that I consider to be very beautiful - signifying something that is sacred to me - my son's nutrition and health. It's not just about that, though. It's about the bond we have as mother and son - a bond I'm sure that you share with your own children. Imagine how you would feel if you had a picture that signified something like that with your child and I asked you to remove it because I was offended that there was a bottle of formula in the picture?
Breastfeeding is something that is natural, yes - but it is something normal. Breasts were created by God as a source of nourishment for children. I agree that they are also sexual - as is something also designed by God. If you have any doubt about their double "use" I encourage you to read the Song of Soloman in the Bible and see the many references to breasts as something beautiful and a source of life.
It is only in the united states that we have such screwed up ideas when it comes to the purpose of breasts and sexuality and infant nourishment. If you went anywhere else in the world you would not find the need for laws to protect a mother's right to feed her child in public. Imagine someone asking you to go give your child a bottle in the bathroom. Or to leave the store because they considered it obscene to be putting a bottle in a baby's mouth.
So while I'm glad you are appreciative of my white flag so to speak - You have put me in a difficult situation because you have asked me to censor something that is very important and crucial to my life. You have asked me to put aside my personal convictions and pride in my life and my children's life and hide it.
like i said what you permit, you promote
so if i take down something that is beautiful to me and many others - just because someone says that they are offended - and i permitted their comment to affect me then i'm promoting the idea that breastfeeding is something offensive - which it most certainly is not.
and i hate that i've been put in that situation and that i've given in and done something that goes against everything I believe and l love.
I am very sad right now as I feel something dear to me has been stolen and I'm not talking about just a picture.
In your own way you are doing what you can to promote the idea that breastfeeding is obscene and helping further complicate matters when it comes to the rights of a mother to breast feed her child whether in public or private.
Shame on you.
by Anne Hinze
Copyright 2007, all rights reserved
* I wrote this more than a year ago, but felt the need to resurrect it once again! (12/29/08)
It's sad that we live in such a backwards society. It's ironic to me that the human race, which from the beginning of time was raised on mother's milk - could have gone so far astray to think that feeding their infants with a bottle of artificial milk is the status quo.
The dual nature of breasts - both for nourishment of a child and sexuality with a partner - in our society it seems they can only be one or the other - but mainly the latter.
Since when is feeding a baby obscene? I seem to be in the minority because I firmly say never.
I've had people tell me that my picture of my son at my breast was disturbing to them.
So if you don't like what you see - don't look.
Then this morning I was scanning the latest posts on LACTNET (an online community for lactation professionals) and I saw a post about the video that the Maternal League of Justice had posted on YouTube - and that it had been banned.
I'm disgusted. I've personally witnessed far more disgusting videos on YouTube compared to photos of a baby at the breast. I watched the video - the one with sound - and it was beautiful and the song perfectly chosen. I'm appalled that the people in charge at YouTube would dare start such a controversy as banning a video of something that is perfectly acceptable.
I ask that to be fair they also ban any video of a parent, etc feeding their child a bottle - I could say that I find that offensive because I am a breastfeeding mother and feel that formula poses a number of particular health risks to the infant who consumes it.
So once again, I will resurrect my earlier post "On Breastfeeding and Obscenity," because it seems to be timely in the wake of the YouTube debacle. It was written a few months ago when another ignorant person (and yes I'm calling anyone who thinks a picture of a child at the breast is disgusting or obscene - IGNORANT) asked me to remove a picture of my son at the breast because she found nipples to be offensive. I took the picture down for a day or two - just to quiet things on the board (which I run...) but was convicted of the fact that I needed to put it back up. She appreciated it when I took the picture down, but took it quite personally when i put it back up...
here goes:
To anyone who feels offended by me or pictures of my children breastfeeding:
I've been in quite a mood about this whole situation, honestly. I didn't just take it down because you were offended, but more because I am very disheartened and tired of the whole mess.
What you permit, you promote.
You asked me to remove a picture that I consider to be very beautiful - signifying something that is sacred to me - my son's nutrition and health. It's not just about that, though. It's about the bond we have as mother and son - a bond I'm sure that you share with your own children. Imagine how you would feel if you had a picture that signified something like that with your child and I asked you to remove it because I was offended that there was a bottle of formula in the picture?
Breastfeeding is something that is natural, yes - but it is something normal. Breasts were created by God as a source of nourishment for children. I agree that they are also sexual - as is something also designed by God. If you have any doubt about their double "use" I encourage you to read the Song of Soloman in the Bible and see the many references to breasts as something beautiful and a source of life.
It is only in the united states that we have such screwed up ideas when it comes to the purpose of breasts and sexuality and infant nourishment. If you went anywhere else in the world you would not find the need for laws to protect a mother's right to feed her child in public. Imagine someone asking you to go give your child a bottle in the bathroom. Or to leave the store because they considered it obscene to be putting a bottle in a baby's mouth.
So while I'm glad you are appreciative of my white flag so to speak - You have put me in a difficult situation because you have asked me to censor something that is very important and crucial to my life. You have asked me to put aside my personal convictions and pride in my life and my children's life and hide it.
like i said what you permit, you promote
so if i take down something that is beautiful to me and many others - just because someone says that they are offended - and i permitted their comment to affect me then i'm promoting the idea that breastfeeding is something offensive - which it most certainly is not.
and i hate that i've been put in that situation and that i've given in and done something that goes against everything I believe and l love.
I am very sad right now as I feel something dear to me has been stolen and I'm not talking about just a picture.
In your own way you are doing what you can to promote the idea that breastfeeding is obscene and helping further complicate matters when it comes to the rights of a mother to breast feed her child whether in public or private.
Shame on you.
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