by Anne Hinze
Copyright 2007, all rights reserved
* I wrote this more than a year ago, but felt the need to resurrect it once again! (12/29/08)
It's sad that we live in such a backwards society. It's ironic to me that the human race, which from the beginning of time was raised on mother's milk - could have gone so far astray to think that feeding their infants with a bottle of artificial milk is the status quo.
The dual nature of breasts - both for nourishment of a child and sexuality with a partner - in our society it seems they can only be one or the other - but mainly the latter.
Since when is feeding a baby obscene? I seem to be in the minority because I firmly say never.
I've had people tell me that my picture of my son at my breast was disturbing to them.
So if you don't like what you see - don't look.
Then this morning I was scanning the latest posts on LACTNET (an online community for lactation professionals) and I saw a post about the video that the Maternal League of Justice had posted on YouTube - and that it had been banned.
I'm disgusted. I've personally witnessed far more disgusting videos on YouTube compared to photos of a baby at the breast. I watched the video - the one with sound - and it was beautiful and the song perfectly chosen. I'm appalled that the people in charge at YouTube would dare start such a controversy as banning a video of something that is perfectly acceptable.
I ask that to be fair they also ban any video of a parent, etc feeding their child a bottle - I could say that I find that offensive because I am a breastfeeding mother and feel that formula poses a number of particular health risks to the infant who consumes it.
So once again, I will resurrect my earlier post "On Breastfeeding and Obscenity," because it seems to be timely in the wake of the YouTube debacle. It was written a few months ago when another ignorant person (and yes I'm calling anyone who thinks a picture of a child at the breast is disgusting or obscene - IGNORANT) asked me to remove a picture of my son at the breast because she found nipples to be offensive. I took the picture down for a day or two - just to quiet things on the board (which I run...) but was convicted of the fact that I needed to put it back up. She appreciated it when I took the picture down, but took it quite personally when i put it back up...
here goes:
To anyone who feels offended by me or pictures of my children breastfeeding:
I've been in quite a mood about this whole situation, honestly. I didn't just take it down because you were offended, but more because I am very disheartened and tired of the whole mess.
What you permit, you promote.
You asked me to remove a picture that I consider to be very beautiful - signifying something that is sacred to me - my son's nutrition and health. It's not just about that, though. It's about the bond we have as mother and son - a bond I'm sure that you share with your own children. Imagine how you would feel if you had a picture that signified something like that with your child and I asked you to remove it because I was offended that there was a bottle of formula in the picture?
Breastfeeding is something that is natural, yes - but it is something normal. Breasts were created by God as a source of nourishment for children. I agree that they are also sexual - as is something also designed by God. If you have any doubt about their double "use" I encourage you to read the Song of Soloman in the Bible and see the many references to breasts as something beautiful and a source of life.
It is only in the united states that we have such screwed up ideas when it comes to the purpose of breasts and sexuality and infant nourishment. If you went anywhere else in the world you would not find the need for laws to protect a mother's right to feed her child in public. Imagine someone asking you to go give your child a bottle in the bathroom. Or to leave the store because they considered it obscene to be putting a bottle in a baby's mouth.
So while I'm glad you are appreciative of my white flag so to speak - You have put me in a difficult situation because you have asked me to censor something that is very important and crucial to my life. You have asked me to put aside my personal convictions and pride in my life and my children's life and hide it.
like i said what you permit, you promote
so if i take down something that is beautiful to me and many others - just because someone says that they are offended - and i permitted their comment to affect me then i'm promoting the idea that breastfeeding is something offensive - which it most certainly is not.
and i hate that i've been put in that situation and that i've given in and done something that goes against everything I believe and l love.
I am very sad right now as I feel something dear to me has been stolen and I'm not talking about just a picture.
In your own way you are doing what you can to promote the idea that breastfeeding is obscene and helping further complicate matters when it comes to the rights of a mother to breast feed her child whether in public or private.
Shame on you.
14 comments:
Thank you so much, for expressing so beautifully, how I feel. (and I'm sure others) I have breastfed all 5 of my children exclusively, (even tandem nursed once, Whew!) and am feeling so disgusted, that in this age of supposed "enlightenment and education" we are surrounded by so much stupidity and sheer ignorance.
You are most welcome - every once in a while I get heated enough to write something eloquent and beautiful. Yours is the first comment I've actually posted - all the others have been a little - er- off - to say it nicely. :)
Thank you for posting such a well written essay about the dual purpose of breasts. I am a breastfeeding counselor and mom of two boys that were exclusively breast-fed for well over their first year of life. My husband and I are both offended at the site of a baby getting a bottle. It is nice to see someone speaking out on behalf of those of us that demand that our children's health be put ahead of what american society deems immoral.
I agree completely with your sentiment, but wanted to say that it isn't only in the USA that this happens. I live in Scotland and laws had to be put in place here to protect the right to breastfeed in public here, but in England people are still frequently asked to leave, or go to a bathroom, or hide in a corner. We get nasty looks and comments from people and the majority here still feed with a bottle. The problem is everywhere, and more needs to be done all over the world! Here in the UK, only 3% of mothers breastfeed until 6 months and most don't even breastfeed at birth. I felt the need to say this because your well written blog is now being read by people all over the world, and people need to know that this ignorance exists in many places all over the world.
Thank you for that stipulation - It's good to hear from someone on the other side of the world :) I know that it's a worldwide problem, but often my area of consideration is right in front of me - I am sorry that I didn't include other areas. I'm sad to hear that it's so bad where you are - those rates are even worse than ours I believe!
I always say one mom and baby at a time - that's how we'll change the world :)
i'm not a parent, and don't want to be. babies and children creep me out and always have. i understand this is my problem, not someone else's. (and i'm not interested in talking about it beyond this)
but.. when a friend of mine breastfeeds in front of me, i'm not at all bothered. i mean i don't look.. i don't stare.. but it doesn't bother me. even i, weird as i am, can comprehend that yes.. its natural, normal, and omg.. even IDEAL for a child to be fed in this way.
while there is some debate as to what age breastfeeding should transition.. i've never understood why people can't leave this issue alone. it shouldn't even be an issue in the first place.
it is appalling to me that someone would claim it is obscene to feed a child in the biologically perfect way.
but the sad fact is while most of us are sane and can understand child-rearing... there are people out there that can't see something like that without perverting it.
i took photos of a friend when she was almost due.. she wore a very tasteful robe/neglige'. i posted this photo on an artistic community site.. and no one except fetishists added the photos to their favorites. i was so angry. i could not comprehend why someone would think such a sacred and pure thing could possibly be pornographic. some people are crazy, i think.
that made me so angry i left the community altogether. i did not understand how my beautiful photos of a beautiful woman with a beautiful belly could possibly be used to stimulate someone in such a way.
because of that.. and her plight as a nursing mother.. i've been roused to act on behalf of mothers everywhere. thank you so much for sharing your essay with us! thank you!!
This pic is hands down one of the best nursing pics I've seen. I LOVE the look on his face. It's also very sweet, and I smile every time I look back at it. I'm sorry it has been viewed as "obscene".
I just found your blog via MDC & added it to my reader. I'm not too far from you--Pcola area. Do you do the ABC class here with Baptist?
I'm nursing my second son; he's 15.5 months old. His older brother was breastfed till 22 months.
Cam- I am not affiliated with the ABC class at baptist. Mine are offered privately. I'm actually going to be revamping - the classes were offered at my church (they gave me a place for free) - but it was hard to advertise and I couldn't charge for them. But my partner and I may work together on offering a prepared post partum/newborn class in the near future. I think it's something greatly needed in our area - especially east of pensacola.
Have you ever come to a LLL meeting in Niceville?
You can also check out my business website if you want - www.wombtobreast.com
Congratulations on nursing for so long - My youngest just turned 2 this week and we're still nursing.
I agree that it's something very needed in the area. I wish you luck & success in that.
I've never been to an LLL meeting in Niceville. I've only been to the Pcola one.
I will definitely check out your other site. :)
Excellent post! I'm confused...the person who asked you to remove the pic was on LACTNET??? So a bfing "proponent" was offended by the sight of nipple? *scratches head*
This excerpt: "It's ironic to me that the human race, which from the beginning of time was raised on mother's milk - could have gone so far astray to think that feeding their infants with a bottle of artificial milk is the status quo."
Ohmigosh, yes!! A thousand times, YES!! I came up against this just this week, and I'm still exasperated. Backstory: My mother nursed all of us (five bio siblings) for a short time, at least...although she always used bottles of formula for her convenience, and she was extremely uncomfortable with NIP. But she recognized--then and now--that breastfeeding is the ideal.
So, early this week, my 1yo daughter came up with a "word" that she says for breastfeeding. It is so cute--she does our sign (a combo of ASL "mama" and "milk") and then says, "Baboom!" I have no clue where baboom comes from, but it is so supercute! :) I told my mom about it, and she said, "Maybe because it sounds like "bottle"?
???
Ummm....yeah, because human babies are genetically hardwired to know what a bottle is, and to use that word to indicate their need for nourishment/comfort?? Sigh...
*shakes head in utter confusion*
Sigh again. We have such a looooooong way to go!
A baby at a breast is NOT obscene; an image of someone eating a BigMac IS; a photo of military hardware IS obscene!
I love this picture (I eat here). I am exclusively breastfeeding my 5 mo old daughter and getting braver about doing so in public without the giant coverup which she can now grab and wad into a ball in her hands :-)I will attend my first LLL meeting this week and plan to attend their Breastfeeding Cafe meetings to help set a public example. Mostly, I wish for all mamas who are able the wonderful breastfeeding relationship I've been enjoying with my baby girl. It's the best.
hi all,
i am Irish and breastfeeding my first baby.I found it hard at first but persisted as i understood the health benefits for myself and my child. I am a pharmacist and routinely see people buying formula.It has always perplexed me why people buy formula. Breastfeeding costs nothing and aside from initial discomfort, it is really very convenient and its true, breast is best. I feel that a mother should put their needs second to their child when its born. Its a privilege to put yourself second to your baby and once BF is established, its very difficult to give up! I had all the problems you could get with breastfeeding but rather than making me give up, it made me more determined to persist. I had a breast lump from the first week of breastfeeding and over the next two months i watched it get bigger and harder, until i developed a breast abscess. This was while i attended 3 different GPs (prescribing me three different antibiotics which didnt help, at all), got excellent advice from our national maternity hospital and did everything in my power to manage the affected area (regular feeding, massaging, hot flannels, breast pumping to keep it drained-it never did drain, it just stayed very hard and varied in colour from red to pink, I was never unwell with this and the baby always fed on the affected breast which i believed misled the GPs into thinking it was just a blocked duct).I felt the GPs were lacking knowledge and found them all to be lacking experience in this area, possible due to few patients presenting with these type of problems due to the poor takeup of breastfeeding in Ireland. It was only resolved when i arranged to meet a lactation consultant after my 6 week checkup with my consultant. One week after getting this ladies advice, i was given an ultrasound and 25cc of the most disgusting, putrid green milk was drained away. I was admitted into the hospital after the ultrasound, and operated on that night as an emergency case. All i cared about during this 8week period was that this problem wasnt going to hinder my breastfeeding. I asked the surgeon to make the incision away from the nipple area so i could use the breastpump after the procedure(I expressed throughout my stay in hospital and my husband brought this home to feed her. Luckily for us we gave her a night-time bottle of expressed milk so my husband could enjoy that time with her). I had an 8 inch coil of 'corrugated drain' put into the abscess cavity and this was left in place for 2 weeks, changing the dressings three times a day. I had IV antibiotics in the hospital for 3 days and a further weeks supply while at home.I then had to get this hole packed with a seaweed wick (Kaltostat) for two further weeks to allow this to heal from the inside-a nurse came every day to this. I fed the baby on the affected breast as soon as i got home from hospital. She didnt refuse the breast so it was ok. my baby isnt fussy so this helped too. My milk supply has dwindled a bit in the latter part of the day and i can only express half her bottle for her night-time feed. She gets fed formula for the remainder. I hope this wont last and i will be able to give her breastmilk at night in due course. I posted this comment to inform people of how persistence pays off! I have always thought 'winners never quit, and quitters never win' and this experience made me persist. Yes i am stubborn.I am still breastfeeding my baby, even after all the above. I only once considered giving up the breastfeeding and even then, i knew i would only have been for my convenience but its not about me. So what i am saying is, 'where there is a will, there is a way'!!
I breastfed my daughter I was the only person in my parenting and baby class at 28 weeks pregnant who was going to out of 50. Even the midwife was surprised. I am in England there was only once I ever found somewhere that had a mother baby room you could breast fed an American burger place. I was asked to leave the biggest baby retailers store for feeding my daughter even the assistant saying go had to say you are feeding the baby? She offered to make up formula if I wanted to feed a bottle. I asked why cant I feed my daughter I was total covered she said its disgusting. A heavily pregnant woman made comments I was being gross - she had the briefest shorts I had ever seen and a bikini top on which was just fashion. I was never an advocate till then it just insane if I paraded around showing a large part of my breasts that was fashion showing none of them feeding my daughter was disgusting. Another time I was in church and left as my daughter was hungry the greeter said we have a room you can feed a bottle I said i was breast feeding he went white. I left. Still in England so few peoples choice is to breast feed. Breasts were designed only as a means to nourish a baby. When the charge to it being bad, disgusting or perverted happened I don't know but it did. Your blog was well written and beautiful. Thank you this is the first time I ever commented on a non FB item. I am hoping I did it right. I am no campaigner but I to educate people when comments are made. They say you change the world simply one person at a time. God bless you Lara
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