Wyatt's thoughts on Mommy Milk

Just now as I was helping Wyatt back into his clothes after using the potty he decided to share with me a few thoughts about Mommy Milk - so I have to share.

He reached up and put his hand on my chest...

"I'm feeling the mommy milk," he said. "It's all filled up."

"I love Mommy Milk!"

"I love it for nighttime!"

Me:

"Wyatt, what do you like about Mommy Milk?"

Wyatt:

"the heart."

Every time he nurses he finishes by placing his ear against my breast and listening to my heart - most nights he falls asleep listening to my heartbeat.

Breastfeeding is the first line of defense in a disaster

January 27, 2010
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

UPDATED STATEMENT:
Breastfeeding is the First Line of Defense in a Disaster

Washington, DC--The Human Milk Banking Association of North America (HMBANA), United States Breastfeeding Committee (USBC), International Lactation Consultant Association/United States Lactation Consultant Association (ILCA/USLCA), and La Leche League International (LLLI) strongly affirm the importance of breastfeeding in emergency situations, and call on relief workers and health care providers serving victims of disasters to protect, promote, and support mothers to breastfeed their babies. During an emergency, breastfeeding mothers provide their infants with safe food and water and disease protection that maximize their chances of survival.

This week, the International Milk Bank Project and Quick International Courier coordinated a shipment of milk from the HMBANA member banks to supplement a mother's own milk for the premature, medically fragile, and orphaned infants aboard the U.S. Navy ship Comfort stationed off the coast of Haiti. This milk will help this small group of infants. In this highly unusual circumstance the infrastructure associated with the Comfort's resources allows U.S. sourced donor milk to help fragile Haitian babies.

Donor milk, however, is not a solution for the large number of infants and young children affected by the earthquake in Haiti. Members of the public who wish to promote the survival of mothers and babies in Haiti can donate money to the following organizations: UNICEF, Save the Children Alliance, World Vision, and Action Against Hunger. These organizations are using best practice to aid both breastfed and non-breastfed infants. Members of the public can be confident that donations to these organizations will support breastfeeding and help save the lives of babies.

Interventions to protect infants include supporting mothers to initiate and continue exclusive breastfeeding, relactation for mothers who have ceased breastfeeding, and finding wet nurses for motherless or separated babies. Every effort should be made to minimize the number of infants and young children who do not have access to breastfeeding. Artificially fed infants require intensive support from aid organizations including infant formula, clean water, soap, a stove, fuel, education, and medical support. This is not an easy endeavor. Formula feeding is extremely risky in emergency conditions and artificially fed infants are vulnerable to the biggest killers of children in emergencies: diarrhea and pneumonia.

As stated by UNICEF and WHO, no donations of infant formula or powdered milk should be sent to the Haiti emergency. Such donations are difficult to manage logistically, actively detract from the aid effort, and put infant's lives at risk. Distribution of infant formula should only occur in a strictly controlled manner. Stress does not prevent women from making milk for their babies, and breastfeeding women should not be given any infant formula or powdered milk.

There are ongoing needs in the U.S. for human milk for premature and other extremely ill infants because of the protection it provides from diseases and infections. If a mother is unable to provide her own milk to her premature or sick infant, donor human milk is often requested from a human milk bank. American mothers can help their compatriots who find themselves in need of breast milk for their sick baby by donating to a milk bank that is a member of the Human Milk Banking Association of North America.

For more information about donating milk to a milk bank, contact HMBANA at www.hmbana.org. Additional information for relief workers and health care professionals can be provided from the United States Breastfeeding Committee at www.usbreastfeeding.org, ILCA/USLCA at www.ilca.org orwww.uslca.org, or La Leche League International at www.llli.org. A list of regional milk banks is available on the HMBANA Web site at www.hmbana.org/index/locations.

USBC is an organization of organizations. Opinions expressed by USBC are not necessarily the position of all member organizations and opinions expressed by USBC member organization representatives are not necessarily the position of USBC.

United States Breastfeeding Committee (USBC)
The United States Breastfeeding Committee (USBC) is an independent nonprofit coalition of 41 nationally influential professional, educational, and governmental organizations. Representing over half a million concerned professionals and the families they serve, USBC and its member organizations share a common mission to improve the Nation's health by working collaboratively to protect, promote, and support breastfeeding. For more information about USBC, visitwww.usbreastfeeding.org.

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United States Breastfeeding Committee
2025 M Street, NW, Suite 800
Washington, DC 20036
Phone: 202/367-1132
Fax: 202/367-2132
E-mail: office@usbreastfeeding.org
Web: www.usbreastfeeding.org

The long, sad goodbye

Last year as I sat down to write my son's 2nd birthday letter I was mostly thinking about how much longer our breastfeeding relationship would last.

He seemed to be weaning - most days were so busy for my little man that he rarely stopped to ask to nurse. I was convinced and dreadful that the end was coming soon.

So I'm happy to say that a year later at three years old he's still nursing - but not much.

It's funny to me how people expect weaning to be a quick process, full of absolutes - the end. While weaning in the first year of life must be done deliberately - as most mothers' milk supplies are abundant and a sudden stop can spell disaster for a mom (and baby) - the weaning of a toddler is on an entirely different plane of thought.

In La Leche League we talk about natural weaning - other term's I've heard used are child-led or baby-led weaning and mother-led weaning. They all have very different meanings. Child-led weaning is just that - the child dictates when he or she wants to wean - not taking into consideration the opinion of the mother nursing them. Mother-led weaning is also quite simple to explain - the mother decides when and how to wean the child.

Natural weaning is a gentle give and take process that involves the emotions and opinions of both mom and child and this is what works best for us in our family. Other families may choose a different option, but I believe both Wyatt and I should have a voice in this decision.

When I was about 9 weeks pregnant with Wyatt I found myself having to make a radical decision and wean Maddie abruptly. She was 15 months old and my heart was broken that I would not meet the goal I set for 2 years of breastfeeding. After experiencing a lot of abnormal pain and cramping early in my pregnancy an ultrasound revealed a subchorionic hemorrhage and my doctor recommended weaning Maddie because nursing causes uterine contractions and he didn't want contractions to increase my chance of miscarrying the baby.

I went home and never nursed her again. I remember having to keep my distance lest she ask me to nurse. My heart was broken and I grieved for days and in some ways I grieve that loss still today.

One thing I constantly tell moms at the LLL meetings I lead is that I have experienced a profound difference in mothering toddlers when I compare the toddlerhood of Maddie who was not breastfed beyond 15 months and that of Wyatt who is still nursing at 3 years old.

Think about the tantrums, the frustrations, the owies and boo boos. Then think about having a secret weapon that would allow you to connect with your child on a primal level (because as Dr. Harvey Karp puts it, they're little Neanderthals). There is nothing more soothing and satisfying to both mother and child than being able to solve almost any problem under the sun by nursing.

There have been many times when I've used this secret weapon - sometimes by choice and others out of necessity. There have been days that were just "off" - every little thing caused a tantrum and we've sat down or laid down and had some quiet time nursing and talking and the rest of the day just turned around.

I can't tell you enough how important nursing has been for the many owies that come with raising toddlers (and boys).

In October the kids and I drove up to Ellijay, GA to visit our friends and adopted grandparents Harry and Elaine Heinisch. It was Sunday morning and we'd just finished church and the kids wanted to play on the playground there at the church. Maddie was on the swings and Wyatt was running around. You never see these kinds of things coming, but Harry was pushing Maddie on the swing and had just given her a big push and at the same moment Wyatt walked right into the path of the swing as she was on her way up.

It always happens in slow motion - but I felt terror and dread as I watched her connect with his little body. He flew up in the air, spun around and came down hard on a railroad tie. I guess in some ways I should be thankful that it was his head and not an area of his body less protected - an arm or a leg would easily have broken and I'm sure he would have had some internal damage had he landed on his abdomen.

It only took a second for the screaming to start and even though I was at a strange church in a strange down I did the thing that came to me most naturally (after deciding his neck wasn't in danger) and that was to grab him, sit down and nurse him. It wasn't easy - I was wearing layers plus an underwire bra, but I managed to get him latched on.

Instantly he stopped screaming and sobbing - his little body still convulsed with the aftermath of sobbing so hard - for a few minutes - but he calmed down.

Did you know that breastfeeding provides pain relief? It releases chemicals in the brain that relieve pain and bring comfort. So while many might have rushed to the hospital (I was told the local hospital wasn't that great of a place and the nearest "good" hospital was probably 20 miles away) - I instinctively offered him my breast to bring him comfort and pain relief.

That is probably the worst injury he's had to date - and he promptly went to see his chiropractor the next week when we returned home (and he was definitely out of alignment!).

These days our nursings are short and infrequent. He typically nurses the longest in the mornings and often at night he nurses for just a second or two before putting his cheek against my breast and going to sleep. There are times at night when he stirs (we're still co-sleeping) and asks for milk in his dreams and sometimes he'll nurse for 10 minutes as he slumbers.

Last night he was climbing into his chair at the dinner table, somehow missed the chair and connected his brow bone with the chair, fell down and rolled under the table. I scooped him up and we sat in our favorite chair in the living room and I offered to nurse.

He rejected my offer and asked for his pacifier instead.

I was floored! He had never once rejected nursing as a comfort measure. Surely this was the end I told my pouting self.

However after a moment with his paci he put his hand on my chest and asked for "mommy milk." I breathed a sigh of relief and put him to my breast. He didn't stay long, but laid his cheek against my bare skin and sighed.

So this relationship is no doubt coming to an end eventually. It might be today or months down the road. It is a long, sad goodbye for me as he's most likely my last baby. God only knows if we'll be blessed with another but for now the answer has always been "no."

I'm not holding on - forcing him to keep nursing. I'm just riding the ebb and flow of our beautiful relationship - knowing inevitably it will come to a close. I'll have fond memories and pictures to remind me how it felt to snuggle my babies at the breast and I'll miss that closeness that only nursing a baby can bring to a mother.

It's not time just yet to say goodbye, but the time is close at hand.

I will miss those moments and with sadness will leave my days of mothering through breastfeeding behind - carrying with me the many ideals and lessons I've learned as I venture into just mothering, without my secret weapon.

Sweet Toddler Nursing...

Tonight the procrastination was evident with both Maddie and Wyatt. They wanted cuddles in Mommy Bed (is what Maddie calls my bed) and Our Bed (that's what Wyatt calls my bed). They wanted snacks - even after the no-eating timeline, drinks of water and a million other silly requests.

Finally Maddie was in bed and fast asleep and after a few more snuggles and some mommy milk - I tucked Wyatt into bed. But he wasn't on board and after several minutes of anxious crying I went into the room to see if I could soothe him. I hugged and kissed him and told him I loved him, but that he needed to go to sleep. "I scared," he told me. "I'm cold."

I wrapped him up and made sure his night light was on - and left the room for the second time.

It didn't take nearly as long for him to turn up the volume and sound even more frantic this time around.

And being the compassionate mom who doesn't believe in crying-it-out, I picked him up and brought him to where I'd been sitting at the kitchen table. I knew that if I nursed him he'd settle down and go more easily to bed.

He actually nursed well - for about 10 minutes and even changed sides...

But the moment that melted my heart came after he was finished nursing - he let go and fell back into my arms and said "Mommy, I'm sleepy." At that moment the last word escaped between his sweet lips his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he was out.

There is nothing sweeter than cuddling and nursing a toddler - someone who can tell you his needs and wants and verbally and physically give you his love and thanks.

I must also say that at the end of the day - holding a sweet, sleeping Wyatt in my arms makes up for all the frustrations any mom of a toddler experiences on a day to day basis.

"Extended" Breastfeeding

Copyright 2007 by Anne Hinze, all rights reserved

It seems odd to me that people are so opinionated about a woman's decision to breastfeed her child longer than the obligatory 12 months. If you want to lecture me on something, lecture me on the fact that my almost -three-year-old is still addicted to her pacifier. That could have worse consequences for her than continuing to breastfeed through her preschool years.

The Facts:
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that all babies be breastfed exclusively for 6 months and that breastfeeding should be continued for a minimum of 12 months and as long after as is mutually desired by mom and baby.

The World Health Organization goes even further - saying that after 6 months of exclusive breastfeeding you should continue to breastfeed for two years or beyond.

Both of these statements are much more complicated than how I've paraphrased them, but they are both official policy for these organizations.

Worldwide the average child nurses anywhere from 2-8 years - which is why anywhere other than the United States we see greater spacing between babies because breastfeeding offers a period of lactational infertility for most women.

There are so many other facts that are important to keep in mind when you're discussing extended breastfeeding.

Human milk does not magically transform into White Water as Dr. Jack Newman so wonderfully puts it. The antibodies and nutrients so important for the first year do not simply disappear - in fact some properties of human milk increase in value the longer a child nurses.

Humans are the only species that drinks another mammals milk. Human milk for human babies, etc. Your child has no need to consume dairy products at all - in fact they are the culprits of all sorts of problems for little ones. There is a highly respected doctor (can't remember his name) who strongly believes that an overwhelming majority of "colic" cases he sees are actually cases where the baby is allergic or sensitive to dairy proteins present in the breastfeeding mom's diet or in the artificial baby milk the child is consuming.

So my son will not be introduced to cow's milk for a long time. I'm going to keep nursing him and that's the only milk he needs. He's already shown a tendency towards a diary allergy when he consumes yogurt and promptly throws it back up within an hour. I've limited the amount of dairy I consume so he is exposed to less through my breast milk.

Dr Jack Newman also says this: "Breastmilk is, after all, milk. Even after six months, it still contains protein, fat, and other nutritionally important and appropriate elements which babies and children need. Breastmilk still contains immunologic factors that help protect the baby. In fact, some immune factors in breastmilk that protect the baby against infection are present in greater amounts in the second year of life than in the first. This is, of course as it should be, since children older than a year are generally exposed to more sources of infection. Breastmilk still contains special growth factors that help the immune system to mature, and which help the brain, gut, and other organs to develop and mature."

"What about the emotional damage I'm doing to my toddler by continuing to breastfeed?"

This is one of the most frustrating questions I've come across. First of all, plenty of babies/toddlers self-wean and do so around a year or at two years - all by themselves. So if an infant/toddler is still nursing then it is because they choose to do so. You can't force a child to breast as you can with a bottle. The baby has to latch on and suck in order to get milk - all they have to do with a bottle is swallow as the milk drips into their mouth.

Dr. Newman again... "And breastfeeding makes the toddler dependent? Don’t believe it. The child who breastfeeds until he weans himself (usually from 2 to 4 years), is generally more independent, and, perhaps, more importantly, more secure in his independence. He has received comfort and security from the breast, until he is ready to make the step himself to stop. And when he makes that step himself, he knows he has achieved something, he knows he has moved ahead. It is a milestone in his life.

Often we push children to become "independent" too quickly. To sleep alone too soon, to wean from the breast too soon, to do without their parents too soon, to do everything too soon. Don’t push and the child will become independent soon enough. What’s the rush? Soon they will be leaving home. You want them to leave home at 14? If a need is met, it goes away. If a need is unmet (such as the need to breastfeed and be close to mom), it remains a need well into childhood and even the teenage years."


I've never let my babies cry it out, they've always been fed on demand - no limit on the number of times they could feed in a day. There have been days when I'm sure Wyatt has nursed 20+ times because he's needed to be close to me and I give him comfort as well as nourishment. Both slept in our bed until it either became a safety issue or they became bed hogs. Ok well, wyatt has always been a bed hog! He's in and out of our bed most nights as he's not sleeping through the night yet -(what a travesty, he didn't sleep through the night by 6 weeks...)

I refuse to be obsessed with these little things. He will sleep all night when he no longer needs milk in the middle of the night. He'll take a sippy cup when he's ready (maddie was already the master of hers at this age, but i think she was super early in that skill). I could force him out of the night feedings, but it's the one time in the day when I can just cuddle him without any distractions. I'm bleary eyed most mornings but I know this part of his life will pass by so quickly and I have no regrets for the time we spend together nursing. One day he won't want me for that and something else will take it's place for comfort.

There are more important things to worry about than how long I intend to breastfeed my child.

It's about as rude as asking another parent how long they intend to feed their child formula in a bottle. It's one thing to see a two year old nursing (although chances are you won't see it in the USA very often as it's something stigmatized and moms often choose to do it in private rather than being singled out in public. I'll nurse in public as long as I feel comfortable). It's a totally different thing to see a two-year-old walking around with a bottle hanging from its mouth.

Like I said there are far worse things we can let our children do than continue to breastfeed until they're ready to wean.

So do I have an upper limit on how long I'll let my child continue to breastfeed? I'm honestly not sure. My first goal is 2 years and to see how we're doing at that point.

So I'm almost at my halfway point as my other friends are contemplating how to wean. I have no desire to even contemplate weaning as Wyatt shows absolutely no interest.

I'm still in love with his little facial expressions as he latches on - the squishing of his nose and wide open mouth - the little noises he makes when he's impatient for me to feed him. The way he turns his head and opens his mouth in a dead sleep when I feed him in my bed.

So if anyone asks me how long I intend to "do that" I'm very open and honest that there's no end in sight for right now.

and really it's none of their business.

The difference between breastfeeding and nursing

Copyright 2007 Anne Hinze, all rights reserved.

I read something recently that there is a profound difference between breastfeeding and nursing.

Breastfeeding is something you do that nourishes the child while nursing is something that nurtures him.

I've pondered that a lot recently. Wyatt is 11 months old on Sunday and most women would be thinking of weaning at this point. They might be looking forward to it, or facing it with some apprehension.

We're not anywhere close to being done breastfeeding or nursing. I decided that he'd self wean when he's ready, hoping to meet and or exceed the World Health Organization's recommendation of a minimum of two years.

But that's not what is really on my mind as I'm just finished nursing him again tonight.

I'm thinking of all the bumps and bruises he's gotten lately - falling face first into the table or floor, pulling out drawers and smashing his little fingers. Those are all situations where he's definitely not hungry, but the breast brings him comfort - immediate comfort. It's not even something I think about anymore. He gets hurt and I nurse him. He's come to expect it - it's what he's looking for the minute I scoop him up to kiss his owie.

I've always enjoyed the sweetness of a newborn turning their head and rooting for a breast, but an older baby is even more of a beautiful thing. Sometimes it's subtle - a sweet patting on my chest. "Mom, do you think you could feed me?"

Other times it's a little more direct - as he tries to bury his head next to my breast. He's not trying to lift my shirt or anything (although I'm sure that's coming eventually) but he makes it clear as he nuzzles close to what he desires.

Yes, there are moments when it can be inconvenient, but honestly I don't mind. My friends and family are used to seeing me nurse my babies. They don't ask me to cover up or go in a different room. I've even gotten comfortable with my mom peeking her head closer to say, "Aww, that is just so beautiful!"

There are always curious toddlers wondering what Wyatt is doing. It's certainly not my place to explain why mommies have milk, but if they ask I'll say he's drinking mommy milk or that he's eating. I remember nursing wyatt on the hay ride and a preschooler asked me what I was doing. I explained that I was feeding my baby with mommy milk. His mother looked a little displeased with my answer, but I'm not going to lie and say he's sleeping!

I guess that's the difference with my children. To them, breastfeeding has always been and will always be the normal thing. We don't have many bottles in our house as Wyatt only gets one once a week and sometimes he won't even take it. Maddie routinely nurses her stuffed animals and if she does give them a bottle, she specifically says that it's mommy milk that she's pumped!

I love this about being a breastfeeding mommy. I love seeing pictures of my kids at the breast - and any baby at the breast actually. It's a truly beautiful thing symbolizing the perfect bond between mom and child. My little girl wants to see pictures of me breastfeeding her, and talks about pictures of her brother breastfeeding. It's not an exhibition of my breasts, but a visual memory of a sacred time between me and my child.

Dr. Seuss for Nursing Moms

I have no idea who wrote this - so I can't give correct attribution - but it's very cute!

Dr. Seuss for Nursing Moms
Would you nurse her in the park?
Would you nurse him in the dark?
Would you nurse him with a Boppy?
And when your boobs are feeling floppy?


I would nurse him in the park,
I would nurse her in the dark.
I’d nurse with or without a Boppy.
Floppy boobs will never stop me.


Can you nurse with your seat belt on?
Can you nurse from dusk till dawn?
Though she may pinch me, bite me, pull,
I will nurse her `till she’s full!


Can you nurse and make some soup?
Can you nurse and feed the group?
It makes her healthy strong and smart,
Mommy’s milk is the best start!


Would you nurse him at the game?
Would you nurse her in the rain?
In front of those who dare complain?
I would nurse him at the game.
I would nurse her in the rain.


As for those who protest lactation,
I have the perfect explanation.
Mommy’s milk is tailor made
It’s the perfect food, you need no aid.


Some may scoff and some may wriggle,
Avert their eyes or even giggle.
To those who can be cruel and rude,
Remind them breast’s the perfect food!


I would never scoff or giggle,
Roll my eyes or even wiggle!
I would not be so crass or crude,
I KNOW that this milk’s the perfect food!


We make the amount we need
The perfect temp for every feed.
There’s no compare to milk from breast-
The perfect food, above the rest.


Those sweet nursing smiles are oh so sweet,
Mommy’s milk is such a treat.
Human milk just can’t be beat.


I will nurse, in any case,
On the street or in your face.
I will not let my baby cry,
I’ll meet her needs, I’ll always try.
It’s not about what’s good for you,
It’s best for babies, through and through.


I will nurse her in my home,
I will nurse her when I roam.
Leave me be lads and ma’am.
I will nurse her, Mom I am.

On Breastfeeding and Obscenity

On Breastfeeding and Obscenity
by Anne Hinze
Copyright 2007, all rights reserved
* I wrote this more than a year ago, but felt the need to resurrect it once again! (12/29/08)

It's sad that we live in such a backwards society. It's ironic to me that the human race, which from the beginning of time was raised on mother's milk - could have gone so far astray to think that feeding their infants with a bottle of artificial milk is the status quo.

The dual nature of breasts - both for nourishment of a child and sexuality with a partner - in our society it seems they can only be one or the other - but mainly the latter.

Since when is feeding a baby obscene? I seem to be in the minority because I firmly say never.

I've had people tell me that my picture of my son at my breast was disturbing to them.

So if you don't like what you see - don't look.



Then this morning I was scanning the latest posts on LACTNET (an online community for lactation professionals) and I saw a post about the video that the Maternal League of Justice had posted on YouTube - and that it had been banned.

I'm disgusted. I've personally witnessed far more disgusting videos on YouTube compared to photos of a baby at the breast. I watched the video - the one with sound - and it was beautiful and the song perfectly chosen. I'm appalled that the people in charge at YouTube would dare start such a controversy as banning a video of something that is perfectly acceptable.

I ask that to be fair they also ban any video of a parent, etc feeding their child a bottle - I could say that I find that offensive because I am a breastfeeding mother and feel that formula poses a number of particular health risks to the infant who consumes it.

So once again, I will resurrect my earlier post "On Breastfeeding and Obscenity," because it seems to be timely in the wake of the YouTube debacle. It was written a few months ago when another ignorant person (and yes I'm calling anyone who thinks a picture of a child at the breast is disgusting or obscene - IGNORANT) asked me to remove a picture of my son at the breast because she found nipples to be offensive. I took the picture down for a day or two - just to quiet things on the board (which I run...) but was convicted of the fact that I needed to put it back up. She appreciated it when I took the picture down, but took it quite personally when i put it back up...

here goes:

To anyone who feels offended by me or pictures of my children breastfeeding:


I've been in quite a mood about this whole situation, honestly. I didn't just take it down because you were offended, but more because I am very disheartened and tired of the whole mess.

What you permit, you promote.

You asked me to remove a picture that I consider to be very beautiful - signifying something that is sacred to me - my son's nutrition and health. It's not just about that, though. It's about the bond we have as mother and son - a bond I'm sure that you share with your own children. Imagine how you would feel if you had a picture that signified something like that with your child and I asked you to remove it because I was offended that there was a bottle of formula in the picture?

Breastfeeding is something that is natural, yes - but it is something normal. Breasts were created by God as a source of nourishment for children. I agree that they are also sexual - as is something also designed by God. If you have any doubt about their double "use" I encourage you to read the Song of Soloman in the Bible and see the many references to breasts as something beautiful and a source of life.

It is only in the united states that we have such screwed up ideas when it comes to the purpose of breasts and sexuality and infant nourishment. If you went anywhere else in the world you would not find the need for laws to protect a mother's right to feed her child in public. Imagine someone asking you to go give your child a bottle in the bathroom. Or to leave the store because they considered it obscene to be putting a bottle in a baby's mouth.


So while I'm glad you are appreciative of my white flag so to speak - You have put me in a difficult situation because you have asked me to censor something that is very important and crucial to my life. You have asked me to put aside my personal convictions and pride in my life and my children's life and hide it.

like i said what you permit, you promote

so if i take down something that is beautiful to me and many others - just because someone says that they are offended - and i permitted their comment to affect me then i'm promoting the idea that breastfeeding is something offensive - which it most certainly is not.

and i hate that i've been put in that situation and that i've given in and done something that goes against everything I believe and l love.

I am very sad right now as I feel something dear to me has been stolen and I'm not talking about just a picture.

In your own way you are doing what you can to promote the idea that breastfeeding is obscene and helping further complicate matters when it comes to the rights of a mother to breast feed her child whether in public or private.

Shame on you.

Me- a Doula?

What's a doula? I know you're probably wondering just what I'm talking about. According to Doula's of North America - DONA - "The word "doula" comes from the ancient Greek meaning "a woman who serves" and is now used to refer to a trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, during and just after birth; or who provides emotional and practical support during the postpartum period.

Studies have shown that when doulas attend birth, labors are shorter with fewer complications, babies are healthier and they initiate] breastfeeding more easily."

Now with that understanding - why me? Why would I - mom of 2 babies born by cesearean decide to become one who nurtures and supports a woman in labor?

I believe that the power a woman possesses to bring forth life - exists no matter how her child enters the world. Birth is a miracle no matter the setting, the manner - the outcome is the same - a mother is born and a child is born.

Some moms desire a completely unmedicated or "natural" childbirth - while others have no qualms over accepting medication. Some- an increasing number here in the USA - are choosing to have the most intervening of births - cesearean - whether it's because there is a legitimate medical reason or even because it's more convenient - although much more difficult and risky.

The role of a doula is to support a woman in labor and during childbirth - whether they give birth medicated, unmedicated or by surgery - it is still childbirth - for after all a child is still born. In addition to helping to offer physical and emotional support a doula will often take pictures during the birth - chronicling what takes place and later presenting the new parents with their birth story - written from an objective viewpoint.

During prenatal consultations a doula will often offer information about choices a mother will make about her birthing wishes - including writing a birth plan. Once in labor - the doula will often help facilitate communication between the laboring woman, her partner and health care providers.

For me - becoming a doula seems a natural progression from being a lactation counselor. Already trained in breastfeeding issues - of which the birth experience can play a large role - I feel that assisting moms in labor, childbirth and the post partum moments will be a compliment to skills I already possess.

My openmindedness when it comes to birth is also a plus. I'm a firm believer in unmedicated childbirth - because research says that it is what is best for mom and for baby - and also for the breastfeeding relationship.

It's not what happened for me - but I can tell you that I wish I would have had a doula - even though I had c-sections. It would have been nice to have someone with me when I was strapped to the operating table - before my husband was allowed in the room - and was vomiting while laying on my back. I couldn't talk for fear of choking and no one was paying any attention to me at that moment. I would have had less anxiety about what was happening around me if a trained professional was near me explaining what was happening next and making sure that I was comfortable.


Even though I know that unmedicated births are the best option for moms and babies I am also keenly aware that those kinds of births aren't happening that often in our local area - and for that matter across the country.

Every woman who wants a doula - should have one - regardless of the type of birth she is planning or ends up having. Circumstances change and emergencies arise requiring medical interventions.

I will never limit myself as a doula - only offering to work with clients who want a particular type of birth. Whether you desire an unmedicated birth or are planning on a cesearean or epidural - I will support and encourage you the entire way. I can offer my clients the past experience of going through 2 cesearean births, 4 years of breastfeeding my own children along with formal education in lactation, professional training as a birth and post partum doula (2009) along with a compassionate, patient nature. On the subject of more practical skills - I offer my experience as a photographer and journalist/creative writer to help capture the images of the moment and write a beautiful birth story for you.

I want to continue helping moms and babies - that's why I am becoming a doula. The miracle of birth fascinates me - and I know that as a doula I will continue to make a difference in the lives of women - one mom and one baby at a time.

It's not about the way you give birth - but how you feel about your birth experience - a doula's job is to make sure your birth is memorable no matter what the situation.

Just a few words

Obviously I haven't been writing much this week - and for that I apologize. My loyal readers check this page at least daily or more and I've been disappointing them and I am very sorry!

The good news is that I've been busy working around the house and although the light is not clear at the end of the tunnel - There's a speck of hope that one day we'll have an in order and de-cluttered house. My goal is before Christmas so we'll continue to be optimistic.

I haven't been feeling the best lately - I've had the old chronic pain all over my body coupled with headaches that are debilitating- especially when you have to keep up with two toddlers. I've been to the chiropractor several times and it helps briefly, but then the pain is back. I'm going to the massage therapist on Friday - hoping it will help release some of the tension and pain in my body. I hesitate to use the F- word - and I'm not swearing, just speaking of a condition I was diagnosed with about 8 years ago - I've essentially been in a form of remission for the past 4-5 years and it's been nice. I'm not sure what triggered it to come back, but I'm hoping to get the pain under control and hopefully it will go away again soon.

Friday evening I'm joining a few other doulas and lactation consultants/counselors for a networking dinner - and I'm excited about this opportunity. It's about time that people in this area who are affiliated with birth and breast feeding - band together and form a sisterhood of support! I'm planning to take a birth doula workshop in February through DONA - Doulas of North America. I had really wanted to take the post partum doula workshop and work on that instead of the birth doula, but I can't pass up a workshop that will be taught in Pensacola vs. one I would have to drive 6 hours away for...

Next week is Maddie's Thanksgiving dinner at school and it's hard to believe that Thanksgiving is just a short amount of time away!

It looks like we may be driving to Texas in the weeks ahead. We won't know more for at least a week or two, but I'm kind of hoping we do get to make the trip because Houston is a great place and I would get to visit my friend Heather (we went to her wedding in Portland last January). We'd also get to see Mike's mom - but the real reason for the trip would be to spend some time with Mike's grandma. She was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer and we'd like a chance to spend some time with her while she's still feeling mostly well. Please keep her in your prayers as she's opted for no treatment other than pain management.

Well I'm heading to bed now - I'm exhausted and Maddie has school in the morning!

Sweet Morning Moments

This morning I woke up to a cute, little blue eyed boy smiling at me in my bed. Mike was gone last night and when Wyatt woke up in the middle of the night I kept him in bed with me because it's oh-so-wonderful to snuggle with a sweet, sleepy child in the mornings.

He gave me a cheery "HI!" and then asked rather quietly and sweetly for some milk - which I lovingly obliged him. We cuddled and nursed and chatted. He asked me over and over where his daddy was - "he's fishing - he's at work," I would tell him over and over.

"Fishing," he say with a very serious tone in his voice.

He was generous with his kisses this morning, too - with extra lovies for our cat, Azzie - who was sleeping peacefully under the covers- with her head on the pillow. Pumpkin the kitten was no where to be found, which was nice for once because he terrorizes Azzie by jumping and biting and scratching her and this makes her very grumpy. I miss my nighttime cuddles with her, so it's rare that she's on my bed when I wake in the mornings. She is usually up high on top of the cabinets where Pumpkin has yet to find her.

I love sleepy, lazy mornings where cuddles are abundant and schedules are slow. I love the time change because my kids are waking up closer to 7 a.m. these days instead of the 8-9 a.m. that was common and awfully inconvenient before the time change.

Azzie just jumped up on the desk to purr and tell me she loves me and like a magnet Pumpkin has appeared to annoy and be a pest. I've thrown him off the desk three times now and he's incorrigible. He lacks the grace of an older cat, constantly knocking things over and sending yarn and papers scattering onto the floors. Azzie looks at him with disgust - as do I at this moment. He's relentless - this little kitten!

For a moment life is as it should be - with happy toddlers - one watching Noggin and reading a book and the other playing the piano while two kitties wrestle on the hardwood floors. I am content in the moment - the dishes can wait and mopping will happen one day I expect. We'll get dressed soon and head to the "mommy milk meeting" where they'll play with friends and mothers will share their love and frustrations with breastfeeding - and the world will be a happier place because we are happy, too.

Sweet nursing moments

A few months ago I wasn't sure if Wyatt and I would still be breastfeeding. It seemed then that he was quite frustrated with my lack of abundant milk supply and he would let me know with each feeding.

But things seem to have evened out. We still have some frustrating moments now and then, but they are all erased by the sweet moments like tonight..

I sat down to nurse him before bed - in my favorite chair - the recliner my parents bought us as a rocking chair when I was expecting Maddie.

He latched on for a few seconds, let go and looked up at me and in a commanding voice said, "SING!"

I kind of looked at him oddly - this is a new request. I've kind of gotten out of the habit of singing them lullabies at night lately and it was just out of the blue that he's started requesting me to sing to him.

I sang "twinkle twinkle little star," taking a moment to breathe after finishing it.

"Sing!" he commanded again.

So I sang him "story" as it's called in our house - but the full title is "Mother Tell me the Story."

It's a song out of the children's songbook for the Mormon Church. It's a sweet song about a child asking his mother to tell him the story about how he came here - about heaven and Jesus. I listened to my best friend Rebecca sing it to her little ones and committed it to heart and it's one of our favorites.

He must have been satisfied after that song - because his only request after that was "SIDE! side side." Which is his way of asking to change sides when the milk flow decreases.

There's something heavenly about nursing your newborn baby - knowing that you're the only one who can satisfy their needs. 

But there is something just as special about nursing your toddler who can communicate their wants and needs to you. There's a little less guesswork - a little more assurance that you're doing the right thing by continuing to offer them the love and comfort and nourishment from your breast.

Now if he'd just learn to sleep through the night!

funny moments

So Maddie comes into the kitchen and tells me - Mommy I've got one of wyatt's diapers on!

She lifts up her dress and it's actually his Fleece cover with the whale embroidered on it - and she has it on backwards... and it's incredibly too small...

And then she started asking to nurse - something she hasn't done in ages...

and now she's running up and down the hall saying "diaper" in a silly little baby voice.

all the while wyatt is running around with a lemon - chewing on it - until he realized that it actually wasn't tasty and started crying.

Now he's trying out a lime.

on weaning

It's been happening for a while now - this weaning thing.

It's not something either of us want, but more something that my body has decided to do on its own. My milk supply is very low - Wyatt nurses and pulls off and looks at me with a frustrated expression and says - Milk! Milk! Milk!

I'm sure it has to do with hormone fluctuations - and really the downward spiral started when my cycles resumed at 16 months. Now when I hit that ovulation time my supply dives and then again as the cycle restarts. 

He's frustrated and I'm frustrated almost to tears. I'm sad when someone asks if he's getting anything, because really the answer is probably not much. 

It's not baby-led weaning because he's just not ready - and it's not mommy led weaning because I'm not ready either - but my body sure seems to think so. 

I know we'll keep nursing for a while longer - even if it's just once a day - until it's gone.

Today in exasperation on both our parts - I gave him a bottle of cow's milk - warmed. He drank almost 8 ounces and I instantly felt terrible because I KNOW that I don't have that much milk left in one nursing anymore. 

It's not supposed to be like this  - I saw it just ending gradually - mutually.

Tonight he didn't nurse at all - I gave him the bottle again (he won't drink milk from a sippy...). 

I know he'll wake up in the middle of the night like always, and I'll nurse him then - it's just thinking about it all that has me almost in tears.

We still haven't decided if he's the last baby for us. I've been feeling very strongly lately that maybe God wants us to have another, but the financial obligation to pay cash for care and delivery is something out of our means at this point. Wyatt's pregnancy and birth were very expensive and with all the complications we paid out a good $13K in cash - not credit. 

Mike did say the other day that he wouldn't mind having another little boy...

It's really in God's hands at this point.

I'd like to write more, but we're planning our weekly trip to the local waterpark in the morning and I have diapers to wash, lunches to pack and all the other little things that need to be done before bed.

Breastfeeding and Nursing

Warning - there are no pictures, but I will repeatedly use the word breasts - if this offends you - or if you tend to have negative comments about breastfeeding or "extended nursing" please don't read this entry.

I actually wrote this at the end of November 2007. I've been going through my private blog lately and re-reading. Things that I really like I'm moving over and this one is still very timely to me.

Wyatt is 18 months old and still nursing, but I fear that my body is going to give up before he does. I know we'll still make it to my goal of 2 years, but it might be cutting it close. My milk rarely "lets down" now when he nurses and often times he pulls off, looks at me and says, "milk milk milk" in frustration. I've tried taking fenugreek with little response - so I know that I am definitely in the involution/weaning stage even though we are not actively weaning. He still nurses in the morning and mid-day and before bed, but it's those moments of insecurity when he wants to nurse and gets frustrated that cause me sadness.

It will be a bittersweet day when it comes for sure.

But on a happier note - I'm adding something I wrote about the difference between breastfeeding and nursing....

Nov. 29, 2007 - or somewhere around then!

I read something recently that there is a profound difference between breastfeeding and nursing.

Breastfeeding is something you do that nourishes the child while nursing is something that nurtures him.

I've pondered that a lot recently. Wyatt is 11 months old on Sunday and most women would be thinking of weaning at this point. They might be looking forward to it, or facing it with some apprehension.

We're not anywhere close to being done breastfeeding or nursing. I decided that he'd self wean when he's ready, hoping to meet and or exceed the World Health Organization's recommendation of a minimum of two years.

But that's not what is really on my mind as I'm just finished nursing him again tonight.

I'm thinking of all the bumps and bruises he's gotten lately - falling face first into the table or floor, pulling out drawers and smashing his little fingers. Those are all situations where he's definitely not hungry, but the breast brings him comfort - immediate comfort. It's not even something I think about anymore. He gets hurt and I nurse him. He's come to expect it - it's what he's looking for the minute I scoop him up to kiss his owie.

I've always enjoyed the sweetness of a newborn turning their head and rooting for a breast, but an older baby is even more of a beautiful thing. Sometimes it's subtle - a sweet patting on my chest. "Mom, do you think you could feed me?"

Other times it's a little more direct - as he tries to bury his head next to my breast. He's not trying to lift my shirt or anything (although I'm sure that's coming eventually) but he makes it clear as he nuzzles close to what he desires.

Yes, there are moments when it can be inconvenient, but honestly I don't mind. My friends and family are used to seeing me nurse my babies. They don't ask me to cover up or go in a different room. I've even gotten comfortable with my mom peeking her head closer to say, "Aww, that is just so beautiful!"

There are always curious toddlers wondering what Wyatt is doing. It's certainly not my place to explain why mommies have milk, but if they ask I'll say he's drinking mommy milk or that he's eating. I remember nursing wyatt on the hay ride and a preschooler asked me what I was doing. I explained that I was feeding my baby with mommy milk. His mother looked a little displeased with my answer, but I'm not going to lie and say he's sleeping!

I guess that's the difference with my children. To them, breastfeeding has always been and will always be the normal thing. We don't have many bottles in our house as Wyatt only gets one once a week and sometimes he won't even take it. Maddie routinely nurses her stuffed animals and if she does give them a bottle, she specifically says that it's mommy milk that she's pumped!

I love this about being a breastfeeding mommy. I love seeing pictures of my kids at the breast - and any baby at the breast actually. It's a truly beautiful thing symbolizing the perfect bond between mom and child. My little girl wants to see pictures of me breastfeeding her, and talks about pictures of her brother breastfeeding. It's not an exhibition of my breasts, but a visual memory of a sacred time between me and my child.

Stuffed animals and mommy milk

Tonight as I was laying in Maddie's bed - snuggling with her and Wyatt (who was nursing) I listened to my three-year-old prattle on about how much her babies (stuffed animals) love drinking mommy milk. She interrupted her conversation to announce that Blueberry - her most loved stuffed cat who is purple - was hungry for some mommy milk. She hiked her little nightgown up - explaining that she needed to get it higher so he could have some mommy milk.

After a few seconds  she asked him if he wanted to switch sides, which I often do with Wyatt (whose response is "side!"). A few moments later she exclaims, "wow, you were really thirsty for some mommy milk Blueberry!" and says he's all done. 

I often ask her why she no longer drinks mommy milk - she was abruptly weaned at 15 months due to complications in my pregnancy with Wyatt - and I've always felt slighted since then. 

She explains that mommy milk is for babies and she's no longer a baby. I remind her that some of her friends are still drinking mommy milk, but she's made up her mind - it's no longer for her because she's too old in her mind. 

I often wonder what our relationship would be like if she were still nursing - if mama's milk were a source of comfort as it still is for Wyatt. Would her tantrums be less intense? Would I be able to reason with her or calm her more effectively?

I guess I'll really never know when it comes to her - but I'm already noticing a bit of a difference when it comes to Wyatt - who is almost 18 months old. My goal with him is 2 years, but I know we'll continue to enjoy our nursing relationship past that point. 

What matters most beyond the basics of why one should breast feed is that my kids are growing up in a world (my world really) where breastfeeding is totally normal. Babies are fed from their mommy's breasts and bottles don't really have much place in our life. Sure, they had a few here and there, but not enough that they were a constant presence in their life. 

I'm hoping one day to write about Wyatt nursing his own lovies - and listening to him talk about how much he loved drinking mommy milk. Maddie talks about how when she was a baby she drank mommy milk - she mentions it daily!