Breastfeeding and Nursing

Warning - there are no pictures, but I will repeatedly use the word breasts - if this offends you - or if you tend to have negative comments about breastfeeding or "extended nursing" please don't read this entry.

I actually wrote this at the end of November 2007. I've been going through my private blog lately and re-reading. Things that I really like I'm moving over and this one is still very timely to me.

Wyatt is 18 months old and still nursing, but I fear that my body is going to give up before he does. I know we'll still make it to my goal of 2 years, but it might be cutting it close. My milk rarely "lets down" now when he nurses and often times he pulls off, looks at me and says, "milk milk milk" in frustration. I've tried taking fenugreek with little response - so I know that I am definitely in the involution/weaning stage even though we are not actively weaning. He still nurses in the morning and mid-day and before bed, but it's those moments of insecurity when he wants to nurse and gets frustrated that cause me sadness.

It will be a bittersweet day when it comes for sure.

But on a happier note - I'm adding something I wrote about the difference between breastfeeding and nursing....

Nov. 29, 2007 - or somewhere around then!

I read something recently that there is a profound difference between breastfeeding and nursing.

Breastfeeding is something you do that nourishes the child while nursing is something that nurtures him.

I've pondered that a lot recently. Wyatt is 11 months old on Sunday and most women would be thinking of weaning at this point. They might be looking forward to it, or facing it with some apprehension.

We're not anywhere close to being done breastfeeding or nursing. I decided that he'd self wean when he's ready, hoping to meet and or exceed the World Health Organization's recommendation of a minimum of two years.

But that's not what is really on my mind as I'm just finished nursing him again tonight.

I'm thinking of all the bumps and bruises he's gotten lately - falling face first into the table or floor, pulling out drawers and smashing his little fingers. Those are all situations where he's definitely not hungry, but the breast brings him comfort - immediate comfort. It's not even something I think about anymore. He gets hurt and I nurse him. He's come to expect it - it's what he's looking for the minute I scoop him up to kiss his owie.

I've always enjoyed the sweetness of a newborn turning their head and rooting for a breast, but an older baby is even more of a beautiful thing. Sometimes it's subtle - a sweet patting on my chest. "Mom, do you think you could feed me?"

Other times it's a little more direct - as he tries to bury his head next to my breast. He's not trying to lift my shirt or anything (although I'm sure that's coming eventually) but he makes it clear as he nuzzles close to what he desires.

Yes, there are moments when it can be inconvenient, but honestly I don't mind. My friends and family are used to seeing me nurse my babies. They don't ask me to cover up or go in a different room. I've even gotten comfortable with my mom peeking her head closer to say, "Aww, that is just so beautiful!"

There are always curious toddlers wondering what Wyatt is doing. It's certainly not my place to explain why mommies have milk, but if they ask I'll say he's drinking mommy milk or that he's eating. I remember nursing wyatt on the hay ride and a preschooler asked me what I was doing. I explained that I was feeding my baby with mommy milk. His mother looked a little displeased with my answer, but I'm not going to lie and say he's sleeping!

I guess that's the difference with my children. To them, breastfeeding has always been and will always be the normal thing. We don't have many bottles in our house as Wyatt only gets one once a week and sometimes he won't even take it. Maddie routinely nurses her stuffed animals and if she does give them a bottle, she specifically says that it's mommy milk that she's pumped!

I love this about being a breastfeeding mommy. I love seeing pictures of my kids at the breast - and any baby at the breast actually. It's a truly beautiful thing symbolizing the perfect bond between mom and child. My little girl wants to see pictures of me breastfeeding her, and talks about pictures of her brother breastfeeding. It's not an exhibition of my breasts, but a visual memory of a sacred time between me and my child.