Copyright 2007 by Anne Hinze, all rights reserved
The Facts:
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that all babies be breastfed exclusively for 6 months and that breastfeeding should be continued for a minimum of 12 months and as long after as is mutually desired by mom and baby.
The World Health Organization goes even further - saying that after 6 months of exclusive breastfeeding you should continue to breastfeed for two years or beyond.
Both of these statements are much more complicated than how I've paraphrased them, but they are both official policy for these organizations.
Worldwide the average child nurses anywhere from 2-8 years - which is why anywhere other than the United States we see greater spacing between babies because breastfeeding offers a period of lactational infertility for most women.
There are so many other facts that are important to keep in mind when you're discussing extended breastfeeding.
Human milk does not magically transform into White Water as Dr. Jack Newman so wonderfully puts it. The antibodies and nutrients so important for the first year do not simply disappear - in fact some properties of human milk increase in value the longer a child nurses.
Humans are the only species that drinks another mammals milk. Human milk for human babies, etc. Your child has no need to consume dairy products at all - in fact they are the culprits of all sorts of problems for little ones. There is a highly respected doctor (can't remember his name) who strongly believes that an overwhelming majority of "colic" cases he sees are actually cases where the baby is allergic or sensitive to dairy proteins present in the breastfeeding mom's diet or in the artificial baby milk the child is consuming.
So my son will not be introduced to cow's milk for a long time. I'm going to keep nursing him and that's the only milk he needs. He's already shown a tendency towards a diary allergy when he consumes yogurt and promptly throws it back up within an hour. I've limited the amount of dairy I consume so he is exposed to less through my breast milk.
Dr Jack Newman also says this: "Breastmilk is, after all, milk. Even after six months, it still contains protein, fat, and other nutritionally important and appropriate elements which babies and children need. Breastmilk still contains immunologic factors that help protect the baby. In fact, some immune factors in breastmilk that protect the baby against infection are present in greater amounts in the second year of life than in the first. This is, of course as it should be, since children older than a year are generally exposed to more sources of infection. Breastmilk still contains special growth factors that help the immune system to mature, and which help the brain, gut, and other organs to develop and mature."
"What about the emotional damage I'm doing to my toddler by continuing to breastfeed?"
This is one of the most frustrating questions I've come across. First of all, plenty of babies/toddlers self-wean and do so around a year or at two years - all by themselves. So if an infant/toddler is still nursing then it is because they choose to do so. You can't force a child to breast as you can with a bottle. The baby has to latch on and suck in order to get milk - all they have to do with a bottle is swallow as the milk drips into their mouth.
Dr. Newman again... "And breastfeeding makes the toddler dependent? Don’t believe it. The child who breastfeeds until he weans himself (usually from 2 to 4 years), is generally more independent, and, perhaps, more importantly, more secure in his independence. He has received comfort and security from the breast, until he is ready to make the step himself to stop. And when he makes that step himself, he knows he has achieved something, he knows he has moved ahead. It is a milestone in his life.
Often we push children to become "independent" too quickly. To sleep alone too soon, to wean from the breast too soon, to do without their parents too soon, to do everything too soon. Don’t push and the child will become independent soon enough. What’s the rush? Soon they will be leaving home. You want them to leave home at 14? If a need is met, it goes away. If a need is unmet (such as the need to breastfeed and be close to mom), it remains a need well into childhood and even the teenage years."
I've never let my babies cry it out, they've always been fed on demand - no limit on the number of times they could feed in a day. There have been days when I'm sure Wyatt has nursed 20+ times because he's needed to be close to me and I give him comfort as well as nourishment. Both slept in our bed until it either became a safety issue or they became bed hogs. Ok well, wyatt has always been a bed hog! He's in and out of our bed most nights as he's not sleeping through the night yet -(what a travesty, he didn't sleep through the night by 6 weeks...)
I refuse to be obsessed with these little things. He will sleep all night when he no longer needs milk in the middle of the night. He'll take a sippy cup when he's ready (maddie was already the master of hers at this age, but i think she was super early in that skill). I could force him out of the night feedings, but it's the one time in the day when I can just cuddle him without any distractions. I'm bleary eyed most mornings but I know this part of his life will pass by so quickly and I have no regrets for the time we spend together nursing. One day he won't want me for that and something else will take it's place for comfort.
There are more important things to worry about than how long I intend to breastfeed my child.
It's about as rude as asking another parent how long they intend to feed their child formula in a bottle. It's one thing to see a two year old nursing (although chances are you won't see it in the USA very often as it's something stigmatized and moms often choose to do it in private rather than being singled out in public. I'll nurse in public as long as I feel comfortable). It's a totally different thing to see a two-year-old walking around with a bottle hanging from its mouth.
Like I said there are far worse things we can let our children do than continue to breastfeed until they're ready to wean.
So do I have an upper limit on how long I'll let my child continue to breastfeed? I'm honestly not sure. My first goal is 2 years and to see how we're doing at that point.
So I'm almost at my halfway point as my other friends are contemplating how to wean. I have no desire to even contemplate weaning as Wyatt shows absolutely no interest.
I'm still in love with his little facial expressions as he latches on - the squishing of his nose and wide open mouth - the little noises he makes when he's impatient for me to feed him. The way he turns his head and opens his mouth in a dead sleep when I feed him in my bed.
So if anyone asks me how long I intend to "do that" I'm very open and honest that there's no end in sight for right now.
and really it's none of their business.
