Every day I start with the intention of writing something - anything! - but it hasn't happened. The more days that go by the more upset I get with myself for not writing - about the kids, our life right now, the garden, birth stuff, etc.
So I'm going back to making lists - because that has always worked in the past to get me back into writing. If you see something of particular interest - leave me a comment and let me know you'd like the rest of the story and I'll make an effort to write it out.
Maddie's 4th Birthday party - the birthday garden
Wyatt's naked romp at my parents house - "I spit it out mommy," as he pointed to the puddle of pee on the floor.
Gardening adventures - what's growing, seeds, etc.
Doula certification on hold...
Wyatt's upcoming trip to see a pediatric ENT at UAB (University of Alabama-Birmingham)
La Leche League Leader accreditation
The drama in the birth community and other petty onslaughts (might only be available through LJ).
Grandma Grace is back - and oh so happy to visit with Wyatt on Mardi Gras.
"No- I not take a nap!" and other dramatics by the two-year old in the house.
"Excuse me, you don't talk to your mother that way!" and other interesting things Maddie says to her brother and others - but doesn't practice herself.
Dear Madeleine - on your 4th Birthday (this will be written in the next week).
Busy season for Mike coming up - lots of away time from us - starting in mid-march (gone for 2+weeks then)
Showing posts with label doula. Show all posts
Showing posts with label doula. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
So hard to start again...
I feel like it's been weeks since I've written anything of substance in either of my blogs. I've been caught up in the self pity and frustration that came with my laptop's accident - it's incredibly difficult to type on a keyboard where the space bar sticks and every other key you hit doesn't work the first time. I've had to compose a certain rhythm to my typing - trying to remember which key I need to hit twice before the letter appears on the screen. For someone whose fingers fly at the speed of my thoughts - having a keyboard that isn't up to par is enfuriating.
And because I've not been writing I have guilt - guilt over not capturing the little moments that I want to remember - guilt that I'm not staying true to what brings me peace - guilt that I haven't even taken more than 2 pictures of my kids in the last 3 weeks!
All the guilt aside - we have been having fun just enjoying life. We're working on the backyard and have successfully constructed one of the 4x8 foot gardening containers - 2 more to go! I never thought I would find so much excitement in the prospect of dirt and seeds! Last night I stayed up until almost midnight pouring over the website at Rare Seedsdreaming of what my garden is going to produce this summer. So far I've decided on three different types of eggplant and 2 types of cucumbers and some zucchini and a summer squash called lemon squash.
I'll be trying my hand at exotic fruits like "Yellow Wonder Wild Strawberry" and "Giant Cape Gooseberry." I'm thrilled to plant the 5-color Silverbeet Swiss Chard that Barbara Kingsolver writes about in her book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle and am even going to try planting some "Marina de Chioggia" pumpkins which hail from Italy and are a prized winter squash for soups and roasting.
I've yet to pick out my tomatoes - the choices are just too many and I feel overwhelmed!
My gardening journal is started - with my seed choices and the year. I hope to add lots of notes to help expand my choices in 2010.
Maddie and Wyatt are growing up so quickly. It's been crazy to see and hear Wyatt's vocabulary and speaking explode over the last few weeks. Last night he called me back into his bedroom and talked for almost 5 minutes about the basketball that is stuck up in the rafters at church in the Community LIfe Center. He was so funny - very concerned about it and adamant that it needs to be fixed.
My little princess is almost 4 years old and I find myself constantly wondering where the time has gone. It's so hard for me to accept that she'll be starting VPK (voluntary pre-kindergarten) next August and then ready for kindergarten in just about 18 months from now. I'm still trying to decide if she'll go to public school or if I'll try my hand at homeschooling. I am very interested in homeschooling but doubt my ability to stick to a routine or schedule. Lisa Ausley - our senior pastor's wife - keeps telling me that I will be a fabulous homeschool mom and that she has all this faith in me. I love that she's so encouraging... I just have to convince my husband that it will work out.
The busy season is about to start again and once again I find myself not ready for the time I'll be left to myself. Mike has a busy schedule already - which is a huge blessing in the light of our economy's current state. He's going to be gone half of March and there are several other week-long trips on his books.
I'm looking forward to taking my doula certification workshop and am excited to already have a client or two lined up. My goal is to finish my certification requirements before the end of this calendar year.
Whew - it feels better just writing all of that!
Sometimes the hardest part about writing is starting again. We writers tend to sit and obsess about all that we wanted to write - pictures we should have posted or taken, things we wanted to say, memories we wanted to remember - and suddenly weeks have passed and we've nothing to show for it other than a happy family.
The first words are hard - but it's best to start from where you are in this moment than to try and pick up where you left off.
And because I've not been writing I have guilt - guilt over not capturing the little moments that I want to remember - guilt that I'm not staying true to what brings me peace - guilt that I haven't even taken more than 2 pictures of my kids in the last 3 weeks!
All the guilt aside - we have been having fun just enjoying life. We're working on the backyard and have successfully constructed one of the 4x8 foot gardening containers - 2 more to go! I never thought I would find so much excitement in the prospect of dirt and seeds! Last night I stayed up until almost midnight pouring over the website at Rare Seedsdreaming of what my garden is going to produce this summer. So far I've decided on three different types of eggplant and 2 types of cucumbers and some zucchini and a summer squash called lemon squash.
I'll be trying my hand at exotic fruits like "Yellow Wonder Wild Strawberry" and "Giant Cape Gooseberry." I'm thrilled to plant the 5-color Silverbeet Swiss Chard that Barbara Kingsolver writes about in her book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle and am even going to try planting some "Marina de Chioggia" pumpkins which hail from Italy and are a prized winter squash for soups and roasting.
I've yet to pick out my tomatoes - the choices are just too many and I feel overwhelmed!
My gardening journal is started - with my seed choices and the year. I hope to add lots of notes to help expand my choices in 2010.
Maddie and Wyatt are growing up so quickly. It's been crazy to see and hear Wyatt's vocabulary and speaking explode over the last few weeks. Last night he called me back into his bedroom and talked for almost 5 minutes about the basketball that is stuck up in the rafters at church in the Community LIfe Center. He was so funny - very concerned about it and adamant that it needs to be fixed.
My little princess is almost 4 years old and I find myself constantly wondering where the time has gone. It's so hard for me to accept that she'll be starting VPK (voluntary pre-kindergarten) next August and then ready for kindergarten in just about 18 months from now. I'm still trying to decide if she'll go to public school or if I'll try my hand at homeschooling. I am very interested in homeschooling but doubt my ability to stick to a routine or schedule. Lisa Ausley - our senior pastor's wife - keeps telling me that I will be a fabulous homeschool mom and that she has all this faith in me. I love that she's so encouraging... I just have to convince my husband that it will work out.
The busy season is about to start again and once again I find myself not ready for the time I'll be left to myself. Mike has a busy schedule already - which is a huge blessing in the light of our economy's current state. He's going to be gone half of March and there are several other week-long trips on his books.
I'm looking forward to taking my doula certification workshop and am excited to already have a client or two lined up. My goal is to finish my certification requirements before the end of this calendar year.
Whew - it feels better just writing all of that!
Sometimes the hardest part about writing is starting again. We writers tend to sit and obsess about all that we wanted to write - pictures we should have posted or taken, things we wanted to say, memories we wanted to remember - and suddenly weeks have passed and we've nothing to show for it other than a happy family.
The first words are hard - but it's best to start from where you are in this moment than to try and pick up where you left off.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
A new year - new possibilities
It seems strange to me that it's already new year's eve. In reflection I don't know what to say about 2008.
There were some great things that happened and also some not so great things.
We are no closer to reconciliation in family matters than we were last year - perhaps even further away. Mike and I struggle with this on a daily basis - we want peace, but it hasn't come to us. Our marriage is stronger these days because of our unity on this issue - but the situational stresses are still hard on us.
Maddie is a precocious almost-4-year-old. She is polite and sweet but at the same time often spoiled and I'm very much ready for the dramatic whining and crying phase to go away forever. She's doing well in preschool and looking forward to next year. We're trying to decide if she'll go full-time or part-time next school year and I'm trying to come to grips with if I really want to homeschool as I'm hopelessly disorganized and have no routine bone in my body! I believe in homeschooling and I'm very wary of our public schools here. I want my children to learn for the sake of learning and not because they need to pass a test. I want to see the light of excitement for education that I had and still have.
Wyatt - my little man - turns 2 on friday. I'm having a hard time coming to grips with this. He's my baby and still very much a baby in so many ways. I'm thankful that all my friends were right - boys love their mommas. Yesterday he came up to me and said, "Mommy, I love you." It was the first time he's said that - he's been saying I love you, too - for a while now. But this was unprompted and genuine. I love how he wraps his arms around my neck and lays his head on my shoulder and whispers - I hold you or I got you, or love you too. It warms my heart always. He's such a funny little guy - with an amazing sense of humor. I know every parents feels the same way - but he's got a special talent for funny I think. Even his little friend Nicklaus goes around telling people that Wyatt is a funny little guy! (Nicklaus is 3).
This year will bring some change for me - I'm taking my Doula certification in February and already have a client or two lined up. I also have no choice but to finally face my fears when it comes to dental work (and the financial expense) and will have to make decisions about what I'm going to do to save my teeth (long story). I'm hoping that we will be able to travel some more this next year. I loved visiting Portland and want to take my family to Montana in the next 2 years. I miss the mountains and want my family to experience the splendor of God's beauty and grace.
The question of whether we'll have another child is also weighing on my heart. I'm going to gather my medical records and send them to a local midwife to have her review them. I trust her opinion more than my own doctor at this point and her thoughts will have a big part in whether we add to our family. I have a lot of fears about another pregnancy - I've had such a hard time with both of mine. But I know that I can do things to help with some of the issues and prayer will help with the rest. Mike and I love being parents - we love our children and while we should be happy with the two we have - and we most definitely are - the subject of baby #3 keeps coming up.
I'm not sure what the year will hold for Mike. They will continue to try and hold on to the clients they have and hopefully things with the economy will change and they'll be able to expand a bit. I know there are days ahead when I'll be on my own - which is the worst part of being a captain's wife. It's not that I don't like my time alone - I do. It's the no break with young kids that wears me down.
This year I'm expanding our garden and hoping to use raised beds instead of planting in the ground. I think I'll do much better that way. I'd like to get to the point of growing at least half of what we consume and then trying to buy locally as much as possible. I'm also planning to get a few chickens for eggs this spring.
I'm excited for what 2009 brings. My kids are getting older and less dependent on me for every little thing and that's exciting (and why I would want to have another baby and start over is still perplexing to me!).
I hope your new year brings you peace and love and happiness.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Me- a Doula?
What's a doula? I know you're probably wondering just what I'm talking about. According to Doula's of North America - DONA - "The word "doula" comes from the ancient Greek meaning "a woman who serves" and is now used to refer to a trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, during and just after birth; or who provides emotional and practical support during the postpartum period.
Studies have shown that when doulas attend birth, labors are shorter with fewer complications, babies are healthier and they initiate] breastfeeding more easily."
Now with that understanding - why me? Why would I - mom of 2 babies born by cesearean decide to become one who nurtures and supports a woman in labor?
I believe that the power a woman possesses to bring forth life - exists no matter how her child enters the world. Birth is a miracle no matter the setting, the manner - the outcome is the same - a mother is born and a child is born.
Some moms desire a completely unmedicated or "natural" childbirth - while others have no qualms over accepting medication. Some- an increasing number here in the USA - are choosing to have the most intervening of births - cesearean - whether it's because there is a legitimate medical reason or even because it's more convenient - although much more difficult and risky.
The role of a doula is to support a woman in labor and during childbirth - whether they give birth medicated, unmedicated or by surgery - it is still childbirth - for after all a child is still born. In addition to helping to offer physical and emotional support a doula will often take pictures during the birth - chronicling what takes place and later presenting the new parents with their birth story - written from an objective viewpoint.
During prenatal consultations a doula will often offer information about choices a mother will make about her birthing wishes - including writing a birth plan. Once in labor - the doula will often help facilitate communication between the laboring woman, her partner and health care providers.
For me - becoming a doula seems a natural progression from being a lactation counselor. Already trained in breastfeeding issues - of which the birth experience can play a large role - I feel that assisting moms in labor, childbirth and the post partum moments will be a compliment to skills I already possess.
My openmindedness when it comes to birth is also a plus. I'm a firm believer in unmedicated childbirth - because research says that it is what is best for mom and for baby - and also for the breastfeeding relationship.
It's not what happened for me - but I can tell you that I wish I would have had a doula - even though I had c-sections. It would have been nice to have someone with me when I was strapped to the operating table - before my husband was allowed in the room - and was vomiting while laying on my back. I couldn't talk for fear of choking and no one was paying any attention to me at that moment. I would have had less anxiety about what was happening around me if a trained professional was near me explaining what was happening next and making sure that I was comfortable.
Even though I know that unmedicated births are the best option for moms and babies I am also keenly aware that those kinds of births aren't happening that often in our local area - and for that matter across the country.
Every woman who wants a doula - should have one - regardless of the type of birth she is planning or ends up having. Circumstances change and emergencies arise requiring medical interventions.
I will never limit myself as a doula - only offering to work with clients who want a particular type of birth. Whether you desire an unmedicated birth or are planning on a cesearean or epidural - I will support and encourage you the entire way. I can offer my clients the past experience of going through 2 cesearean births, 4 years of breastfeeding my own children along with formal education in lactation, professional training as a birth and post partum doula (2009) along with a compassionate, patient nature. On the subject of more practical skills - I offer my experience as a photographer and journalist/creative writer to help capture the images of the moment and write a beautiful birth story for you.
I want to continue helping moms and babies - that's why I am becoming a doula. The miracle of birth fascinates me - and I know that as a doula I will continue to make a difference in the lives of women - one mom and one baby at a time.
It's not about the way you give birth - but how you feel about your birth experience - a doula's job is to make sure your birth is memorable no matter what the situation.
Studies have shown that when doulas attend birth, labors are shorter with fewer complications, babies are healthier and they initiate] breastfeeding more easily."
Now with that understanding - why me? Why would I - mom of 2 babies born by cesearean decide to become one who nurtures and supports a woman in labor?
I believe that the power a woman possesses to bring forth life - exists no matter how her child enters the world. Birth is a miracle no matter the setting, the manner - the outcome is the same - a mother is born and a child is born.
Some moms desire a completely unmedicated or "natural" childbirth - while others have no qualms over accepting medication. Some- an increasing number here in the USA - are choosing to have the most intervening of births - cesearean - whether it's because there is a legitimate medical reason or even because it's more convenient - although much more difficult and risky.
The role of a doula is to support a woman in labor and during childbirth - whether they give birth medicated, unmedicated or by surgery - it is still childbirth - for after all a child is still born. In addition to helping to offer physical and emotional support a doula will often take pictures during the birth - chronicling what takes place and later presenting the new parents with their birth story - written from an objective viewpoint.
During prenatal consultations a doula will often offer information about choices a mother will make about her birthing wishes - including writing a birth plan. Once in labor - the doula will often help facilitate communication between the laboring woman, her partner and health care providers.
For me - becoming a doula seems a natural progression from being a lactation counselor. Already trained in breastfeeding issues - of which the birth experience can play a large role - I feel that assisting moms in labor, childbirth and the post partum moments will be a compliment to skills I already possess.
My openmindedness when it comes to birth is also a plus. I'm a firm believer in unmedicated childbirth - because research says that it is what is best for mom and for baby - and also for the breastfeeding relationship.
It's not what happened for me - but I can tell you that I wish I would have had a doula - even though I had c-sections. It would have been nice to have someone with me when I was strapped to the operating table - before my husband was allowed in the room - and was vomiting while laying on my back. I couldn't talk for fear of choking and no one was paying any attention to me at that moment. I would have had less anxiety about what was happening around me if a trained professional was near me explaining what was happening next and making sure that I was comfortable.
Even though I know that unmedicated births are the best option for moms and babies I am also keenly aware that those kinds of births aren't happening that often in our local area - and for that matter across the country.
Every woman who wants a doula - should have one - regardless of the type of birth she is planning or ends up having. Circumstances change and emergencies arise requiring medical interventions.
I will never limit myself as a doula - only offering to work with clients who want a particular type of birth. Whether you desire an unmedicated birth or are planning on a cesearean or epidural - I will support and encourage you the entire way. I can offer my clients the past experience of going through 2 cesearean births, 4 years of breastfeeding my own children along with formal education in lactation, professional training as a birth and post partum doula (2009) along with a compassionate, patient nature. On the subject of more practical skills - I offer my experience as a photographer and journalist/creative writer to help capture the images of the moment and write a beautiful birth story for you.
I want to continue helping moms and babies - that's why I am becoming a doula. The miracle of birth fascinates me - and I know that as a doula I will continue to make a difference in the lives of women - one mom and one baby at a time.
It's not about the way you give birth - but how you feel about your birth experience - a doula's job is to make sure your birth is memorable no matter what the situation.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Just a few words
Obviously I haven't been writing much this week - and for that I apologize. My loyal readers check this page at least daily or more and I've been disappointing them and I am very sorry!
The good news is that I've been busy working around the house and although the light is not clear at the end of the tunnel - There's a speck of hope that one day we'll have an in order and de-cluttered house. My goal is before Christmas so we'll continue to be optimistic.
I haven't been feeling the best lately - I've had the old chronic pain all over my body coupled with headaches that are debilitating- especially when you have to keep up with two toddlers. I've been to the chiropractor several times and it helps briefly, but then the pain is back. I'm going to the massage therapist on Friday - hoping it will help release some of the tension and pain in my body. I hesitate to use the F- word - and I'm not swearing, just speaking of a condition I was diagnosed with about 8 years ago - I've essentially been in a form of remission for the past 4-5 years and it's been nice. I'm not sure what triggered it to come back, but I'm hoping to get the pain under control and hopefully it will go away again soon.
Friday evening I'm joining a few other doulas and lactation consultants/counselors for a networking dinner - and I'm excited about this opportunity. It's about time that people in this area who are affiliated with birth and breast feeding - band together and form a sisterhood of support! I'm planning to take a birth doula workshop in February through DONA - Doulas of North America. I had really wanted to take the post partum doula workshop and work on that instead of the birth doula, but I can't pass up a workshop that will be taught in Pensacola vs. one I would have to drive 6 hours away for...
Next week is Maddie's Thanksgiving dinner at school and it's hard to believe that Thanksgiving is just a short amount of time away!
It looks like we may be driving to Texas in the weeks ahead. We won't know more for at least a week or two, but I'm kind of hoping we do get to make the trip because Houston is a great place and I would get to visit my friend Heather (we went to her wedding in Portland last January). We'd also get to see Mike's mom - but the real reason for the trip would be to spend some time with Mike's grandma. She was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer and we'd like a chance to spend some time with her while she's still feeling mostly well. Please keep her in your prayers as she's opted for no treatment other than pain management.
Well I'm heading to bed now - I'm exhausted and Maddie has school in the morning!
The good news is that I've been busy working around the house and although the light is not clear at the end of the tunnel - There's a speck of hope that one day we'll have an in order and de-cluttered house. My goal is before Christmas so we'll continue to be optimistic.
I haven't been feeling the best lately - I've had the old chronic pain all over my body coupled with headaches that are debilitating- especially when you have to keep up with two toddlers. I've been to the chiropractor several times and it helps briefly, but then the pain is back. I'm going to the massage therapist on Friday - hoping it will help release some of the tension and pain in my body. I hesitate to use the F- word - and I'm not swearing, just speaking of a condition I was diagnosed with about 8 years ago - I've essentially been in a form of remission for the past 4-5 years and it's been nice. I'm not sure what triggered it to come back, but I'm hoping to get the pain under control and hopefully it will go away again soon.
Friday evening I'm joining a few other doulas and lactation consultants/counselors for a networking dinner - and I'm excited about this opportunity. It's about time that people in this area who are affiliated with birth and breast feeding - band together and form a sisterhood of support! I'm planning to take a birth doula workshop in February through DONA - Doulas of North America. I had really wanted to take the post partum doula workshop and work on that instead of the birth doula, but I can't pass up a workshop that will be taught in Pensacola vs. one I would have to drive 6 hours away for...
Next week is Maddie's Thanksgiving dinner at school and it's hard to believe that Thanksgiving is just a short amount of time away!
It looks like we may be driving to Texas in the weeks ahead. We won't know more for at least a week or two, but I'm kind of hoping we do get to make the trip because Houston is a great place and I would get to visit my friend Heather (we went to her wedding in Portland last January). We'd also get to see Mike's mom - but the real reason for the trip would be to spend some time with Mike's grandma. She was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer and we'd like a chance to spend some time with her while she's still feeling mostly well. Please keep her in your prayers as she's opted for no treatment other than pain management.
Well I'm heading to bed now - I'm exhausted and Maddie has school in the morning!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)