The lost art of washing dishes

The water runs, filling the sink with warm bubbles. In lieu of waiting for the dishwasher to finish so I can reload and re-run it again I piled the leftover dishes into my sink and proceeded to wash them the old fashioned way - by hand.

When it comes to household tasks there are few that I enjoy. Mike and I actually used to quarrel regularly over who was going to empty the dishwasher. I have to say that I've given up and usually just do it myself with Maddie's help. At least this way I'm pleasantly pleased when he does it on his own.

But tonight as I found myself standing at the sink, listening to the "Laurie Berkner family station" on Pandora - I realized that I actually was enjoying the quiet monotony of washing dishes.

On Wednesday this week I taught at class to a local daycare staff and the second half of the class was on the secrets of baby behavior. One of the points that was pounded out over and over was that the simple act of repetition is calming to babies.

It must carry over into adulthood -at least for me.

As I stood there, washing, rinsing, placing, washing, rinsing, placing I started to feel relaxed. I've been tired and cranky all day - no thanks to myself - it's my fault for having such a good time out for New Year's. But with each dish I felt a little of the fatigue and moodiness wash away. I was enjoying the moment - when both of my kids were there in the kitchen with me - dancing to the music and having fun.

I can't remember the artist's name at the moment, but the man who sings on the Curious George soundtrack is a favorite for all three of us and it just felt right to be standing in my kitchen, washing dishes and watching my two little ones dance and giggle.

All was right for a brief few moments in our world tonight. I imagine I will be washing dishes by hand a bit more frequently over the next year.

It's funny the places we find peace in our lives.

Happy New Year!

a new year coming soon

as the new year draws ever closer I am resolved to write more this year.

There are two ways I find peace in my life - it's been like this since I was young.

I feel at peace when I'm writing regularly - whether it's fiction, poetry or the prattle of a three-year-old. I also feel peace through music.

The writing is something I can do on my own - and I can certainly sing in the house, shower, van, etc. One thing I've missed though is performing with the band at church.

In the darkness that has consumed my last few months I've distanced myself from my church family. My feelings were hurt and I was sulking for lack of a better explanation. It's sad, but it seemed to me that few people noticed my absence, let alone asked me why I'd gone from diligent attender to nonexistent. I think this hurt just as much as the grievances themselves.

So as the new year begins I'm going to forget about the he said and she said and concentrate rather on the real reason I go to church - which is to worship God. I'm there for God and to grow in my relationship with Him.

My hopes are that as I find my place once again in God's house I'll be singing for Him again.

I feel closest to God when I am staring at the face of a mountain and when I am glorifying him in song.

So I want to write more and sing more as the year dawns bright and new.

I have other hopes and dreams for 2010 as well, but Mike is complaining about the clicking of the keyboard while he's trying to sleep...

A new year - new possibilities

It seems strange to me that it's already new year's eve. In reflection I don't know what to say about 2008.

There were some great things that happened and also some not so great things.

We are no closer to reconciliation in family matters than we were last year - perhaps even further away. Mike and I struggle with this on a daily basis - we want peace, but it hasn't come to us. Our marriage is stronger these days because of our unity on this issue - but the situational stresses are still hard on us.

Maddie is a precocious almost-4-year-old. She is polite and sweet but at the same time often spoiled and I'm very much ready for the dramatic whining and crying phase to go away forever. She's doing well in preschool and looking forward to next year. We're trying to decide if she'll go full-time or part-time next school year and I'm trying to come to grips with if I really want to homeschool as I'm hopelessly disorganized and have no routine bone in my body! I believe in homeschooling and I'm very wary of our public schools here. I want my children to learn for the sake of learning and not because they need to pass a test. I want to see the light of excitement for education that I had and still have. 

Wyatt - my little man - turns 2 on friday. I'm having a hard time coming to grips with this. He's my baby and still very much a baby in so many ways. I'm thankful that all my friends were right - boys love their mommas. Yesterday he came up to me and said, "Mommy, I love you." It was the first time he's said that - he's been saying I love you, too - for a while now. But this was unprompted and genuine. I love how he wraps his arms around my neck and lays his head on my shoulder and whispers - I hold you or I got you, or love you too. It warms my heart always. He's such a funny little guy - with an amazing sense of humor. I know every parents feels the same way - but he's got a special talent for funny I think. Even his little friend Nicklaus goes around telling people that Wyatt is a funny little guy! (Nicklaus is 3). 

This year will bring some change for me - I'm taking my Doula certification in February and already have a client or two lined up. I also have no choice but to finally face my fears when it comes to dental work (and the financial expense) and will have to make decisions about what I'm going to do to save my teeth (long story). I'm hoping that we will be able to travel some more this next year. I loved visiting Portland and want to take my family to Montana in the next 2 years. I miss the mountains and want my family to experience the splendor of God's beauty and grace. 

The question of whether we'll have another child is also weighing on my heart. I'm going to gather my medical records and send them to a local midwife to have her review them. I trust her opinion more than my own doctor at this point and her thoughts will have a big part in whether we add to our family. I have a lot of fears about another pregnancy - I've had such a hard time with both of mine. But I know that I can do things to help with some of the issues and prayer will help with the rest. Mike and I love being parents - we love our children and while we should be happy with the two we have - and we most definitely are - the subject of baby #3 keeps coming up. 

I'm not sure what the year will hold for Mike. They will continue to try and hold on to the clients they have and hopefully things with the economy will change and they'll be able to expand a bit. I know there are days ahead when I'll be on my own - which is the worst part of being a captain's wife. It's not that I don't like my time alone - I do. It's the no break with young kids that wears me down. 

This year I'm expanding our garden and hoping to use raised beds instead of planting in the ground. I think I'll do much better that way. I'd like to get to the point of growing at least half of what we consume and then trying to buy locally as much as possible. I'm also planning to get a few chickens for eggs this spring. 

I'm excited for what 2009 brings. My kids are getting older and less dependent on me for every little thing and that's exciting (and why I would want to have another baby and start over is still perplexing to me!).

I hope your new year brings you peace and love and happiness.