Getting it right... finally

It's taken us almost 7 years and three kids to find our groove as a family.

I'm not sure why, but I've always balked at following a routine or schedule. A free spirit - I prefer to float aimlessly through life. Sadly - it's not always an option when you're deep in the trenches of motherhood and your little ones need structure.

My years as a mother have been fraught with stress over not being a good housekeeper - my laundry is always out of control and my house feels cluttered and overwhelming on a daily basis. I've cleaned out, gotten rid of and re-organized the spaces in my house so many times I've lost count.

The addition of a third little one to our family has caused me to seriously re-evaluate my domestic status. I'm tired of being a slave to my house and dare I say a slave to my (older) children. I've grown tired of picking up after them when they are capable of picking up their own toys. I'm over asking them to do or not to do things over and over and over and over.

So 2012 is the year I get my house and my life in order!

I ended 2011 by deciding to let go of a few things in my life. The hardest decision I had to make was to put homeschooling on hold and send Maddie to first grade. I love having her at home - I love Classical Conversations and teaching her myself. What I didn't love was the fact that she was disrespectful and obstinate about reading and writing. We could sit and do math all day long but when it came to reading we hit a wall. She could read, but she wasn't progressing in my opinion. A perfectionist like her mother, she would hit a word she didn't instinctually know and stop. Asking her to sound it out was futile because she would rather die than do that! This led to a lot of frustration for both of us.

It's been a rough transition for all of us. The first day was great. She was excited and came home so happy. The second morning and every morning since then there have been tears and begging. However she comes home every day and tells me that it was better than the day before. If she wasn't coming home happy I would pull her out in an instant. But I know it's just as hard for her to leave mommy as it is for me to send her to another person for schooling. I miss her. I miss her help with Maris, too.

But there's also this part of me that loves having the two older ones in school. It's so nice to have peace and quiet during the day. I'm actually getting chores done early enough to find time for ME. This is something that hasn't been a priority really, nor a reality.

The biggest benefit of Maddie going to school though, has been the forced routine and organization. I have to get up early in order to make sure she has a good breakfast, her lunch is made, folder in her bag and get her to school on time. The mornings of Wyatt waking up at 8:30 and racing to get ready for preschool are over because he wakes up early with his sister. We are finally finding a rhythm and routine in our family.

It's like a breath of fresh air.

Tonight I'm going to bed with an empty sink and a decent amount of clean laundry. My kitchen isn't quite as tidy as I'd like, but I can work on it some more tomorrow. My floors need to be swept, but I can do that tomorrow as well.

The house seems to be staying cleaner with the older kids both in school - and that's a huge sigh of relief for me :)

Another unexpected benefit is for my laundry basket: Maddie isn't constantly changing her clothes all day as she was when she was at home!

So little by little I'm finding my groove. We've got a rhythm that will only get more defined as the weeks go by. I miss my little girl and boy while they are at school, but I swear I'm a calmer, nicer mom now when they are home.

It's what works best for our family at this time in our life - and that's ok.